I'm a shell of a man

Snail slides into a Tesla dealership after seeing Elon Musk on TV. Inches his way up to a salesperson. Snail asks to go on a test drive, the sales person shrugs, says sure, why not. It's been a slow day.

After it's over, snail is impressed. "I gotta get one of these!

Saleswoman asks if he can afford it. He is, after all, a snail. Snail retreats into his shell comes out with a wad of cash, the exact amount for the car.

"Yeah lady, I can pay! Can I get it customized?"

The woman says of course, but it'll cost more. Snail whips out more dough.

Snail says "Paint it with pink S's all over the vehicle!"

The saleswoman says sure and asks why.

The snail says "When I'm driving around, I want people to say 'WOW! Look at that fast, pink electric S-car go!'"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthwulf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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3 guys walk into a pink hotel

Three guys walk into a pink hotel, they go threw a pink door, it's the pink reception desk and sign into the pink book. The lady dressed in pink walks them up the pink stairs, down a pink hall then gives them the pink keys to their pink rooms. They all walk into their pink room, put their suitcases down on the pink carpet, then place their clothes in a pink cupboard. They have a bath in their pink shower and dry themselves with the pink towels. They finally go to sleep in the pink beds. They wake in the morning and go downstairs to have breakfast. They have their pink bowls, pink cups and pink cutlery. When they are asked what they want for breakfast one man says he will have weatbix and the other two say they want cornflakes. Once they are finished their food, they pack their suitcases up and leave the pink hotel. The moral of this story is that two out of three people prefer cornflakes...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flurowolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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My wife got me with this one last night...

We were at the table eating dinner when I glanced at the advertisements for grocery stores. I read the ad wrong and said:

Me: I read that wrong, its gala or pink lady apples, not Lady Gaga apples.

Wife: I dont know about Lady Gaga apples, but I know about Lady Gaga tomatoes.

Me: What?

Wife: Ro-ma, ro-ma-ma.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jubelo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
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I passed by a dad joke today...

A guy, his young daughter and an elderly woman were in the store I work at today. The daughter took a pink dress the lady gave to her and put it in her cart. As she did that someone passing by remarked:

"Oh is grandma going to buy that for you."

The dad replied quickly.

"No, I don't think it will fit"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sway_All_Day
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2014
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