A list of puns related to "Pets"
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
But Iβm broke and I hear they come with a huge bill.
The guy says "This isn't a pet, he's my friend and he can talk."
The bartender is skeptical and demands the guy proves it.
The guy asks the dog "What's the opposite of 'soft'?" The dog replies "Rough!"
The bartender remains skeptical and asks for more proof.
The guy asks the dog "What do people put over the top of their house?" The dog replies "Roof!"
The bartender gets annoyed and gives the guy one more chance.
The guy asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Babe......" The dog replies "Ruth!"
The bartender is fed up and throws them out. The dog says "Should I have said 'Lou Gehrig?'"
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Vet: "I'm sorry, I don't understand. It's toucan fusing."
Why do people take rocks for granited?
I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.
He was a master of the duck shun.
Peeve
Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.
It's like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter.
I might have to get my back checked out.
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
He was very unhoppy
... so I bought a seal iron
Bach.
The clerk replies βItβs a freebieβ
I said, βThat seems pointless.β
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
so I asked if that was a free bee. He replied, "No, that's called a baker's dozen. If you spent less time reading reposts on Reddit, you would know that."
It's a Cemer Tree.
Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.
because heβs my newt.
Siamese fighting fish are Betta!
Dad: Because itβs a Spy Duh!!
He is X Ray now.
A little clingy.
Because they are not allowed to have people anymore.
Me- βYou gave me one too manyβ
Shopkeeper- βthat one is a freebieβ
I have been milking that excuse for weeks now.
You hit rock bottom!
Sorry....π
He said, βPets are just a step backwards.β
Police have no leads to investigate
He's a Ο thon
Itβs considered to be a personal fowl.
Turns out heβs just been sheltering in place.
I woke up with the hare standing on the back of my neck.
It's having a hisssssssssssyfits
He has awwtism.
...I knew I shoulda taken that left tern at Albuquerque!
All byte, no bark
Itβs just like a pet dog, only the bark is quieter.
Heβs very unhoppy.
My dad said, βNo. Pets are just a step backwards.β
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