What kind of socks do Panda bears wear?

None, they have bear feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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So this panda bear walks into a bar.

He goes up to the bartender and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, then takes out a gun, shoots the piano player, and goes to walk out.

The bartender says what the heck are you doing?

I'm a panda. It's what I do. Look it up.

So the bartender gets out his dictionary. You know, for settling bets. You didn't have a problem with the piano player, just go with it.

So, sure enough, there it is in the dictionary.

Panda bear, noun. Not a true bear, eats shoots and leaves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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How do you scare a panda bear?

With BamBOO

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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What is a panda bears favorite drink?

Bambooze

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/why-it-be
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today.

It was pandamonium!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.

He was always going on about those damn tree-huggers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What do you call it when a panda bear disguises itself as a grizzly bear?

Panda-ception

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerull1252
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
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Perfect for the kids - what do you call a bear with no teeth?!

A gummy bear.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCKANNON
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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[an actual conversation I had with my beer loving father]

Me: "Hey dad, hypothetically, if the world suddenly ran out of beer, what would you do?"

Dad: "I'd probably swap to pandas."

Me: "Is ... is that like a type of cider?"

Dad: "No, it's a black and white animal."

Me: "Dad? There aren't any pandas in New Zealand?"

Dad: "Well, there's no bears either."

πŸ‘︎ 464
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yupitsnoone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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So I’m rolling through the supermarket and I see these Bare Skin condoms...

And all I can think is, β€œGod please let it be panda”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brannono
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I heard Jeremy Clarkson isn't coming back to Top Gear

But James May.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2015
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I'm campaigning to become a moderator of /r/dadjokes. This is the platform I'm running on.

http://imgur.com/szcPODP

πŸ‘︎ 479
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiiVii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2016
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A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. If you don't get it look up "panda" in the dictionary ...

"Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."


Since today Merriam Webster even has the word dad joke:

"a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/istrebitjel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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I always tell the students I tutor Dad Jokes. A 1st grader tried to tell one of his own today...

Again....this is from a 1st grader...

Knock knock

Who's there

A panda Bear

A panda bear who?

No, you're supposed to say What Panda Bear...

Ok What panda bear?

Umm......a tiger?

Not a dad joke...but I laughed anyway

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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A Panda walks into a restaurant...

sits down and orders bamboo. Once he finishes his meal he stands up, pulls two guns from his furry pockets and shoots up at the ceiling not harming anyone. He then drops the guns and walks out. Confused, his waiter runs after him and yells, "Hey bear! What was that all about??!!". The panda says "Look me up." Confused, the waiter looks up "panda" and reads, "A bear that eats bamboo, shoots, and leaves."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxbrickem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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A panda walks into an ice cream parlor...

asked what it wants, the panda replies "Any bear-y flavor will do."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/this_is_grand
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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What kind of socks do Panda Bears wear?

None. They have bear feet.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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A bear walks into a bar and says...

... "Give me a whiskey and... Koka-Koala"

"why the big pause?" Asks the bartender.

The bear shrugs. "I'm not sure; I was born with them"

The bear's friend, a panda, walks into the bar. He eats a sandwich, shoots a gun and leaves.

"He always eats, shoots and leaves when he comes to my bar! I still don't know why!" The bartender exclaims.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odysseus3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
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