Panda Puns

I was group messaging both my parents.

me: the Smithsonian panda cam is back up

dad: I'm just absolutely thrilled.

me: you should be

mom: unlike your father, I am very happy

dad: Katie (my mom's name), you're just panda-ring to her.

After neither my mom nor I responded to the joke, he continued with: nobody liked by punda

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techbeck
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
🚨︎ report
What did the panda say when it got overcharged for dinner?

I've been bamboozled!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrCam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Panda!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solmonella
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What does panda tells to another panda after taking all its food?

You just got bamboozled.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beeegeryoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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How do you get a panda drunk

Feed it bambooze.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Largefriesarebest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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The panda tricked the zoo keeper into feeding it more food...

...Guess you could say the zoo keeper got bamboozled!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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2020 Panda Mick
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urlordcov
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Mama panda has the jokes
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snowball_Diamond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Pandas are very violent creatures when they're brought in for visits

Everyone knows a panda eats shoots and leaves.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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A Panda Walks into a Bar

A panda walks into a bar one day. He casually walks to the bar and sits on a bar stool.

The bartender thinks this is a bit odd, a panda walking into a bar isn’t something that normally happens to him.

He approaches the panda regardless and asks, β€œWhat can I get you?”

The panda grabs a menu off the bar, opens it and points to a cheeseburger.

The bartender is very impressed by this and so he decides to go ahead and make the cheeseburger for the panda.

The panda gets his cheeseburger, devours it, savoring every last bit. He then wipes its mouth with a napkin, impressing the bartender even more.

But then suddenly the panda pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the bar, except for the bartender.

The bartender stands there in total shock, soaked in blood, and can only ask the panda, β€œWhy?”

The panda pulls a dictionary from his fur coat and turns to the bartender. He flips the book to the P section, places it on the bar, and points to his picture. Then he turns and walks out the door without looking back.

The bartender leans down and reads the entry next to Panda. It says…

β€œPanda: A wild animal that eats, shoots and leaves.”

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Donorob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
On average, a panda feeds for approximately 12 hours a day. It’s the same with humans under quarantine.

That’s why it’s called a β€œPandemic”.

πŸ‘︎ 861
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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What do you call when a bunch of pandas fall sick together?

A pandamic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/modquixote
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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When you see a panda doing martial arts

You just don't get surprised, you also get bamboozled

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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What’s the easiest way to get a panda to eat?

You bamboozle them

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saetric
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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How do you spell Panda?

In order to spell Panda, all you need is p and a.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarelessBeginning
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?

Bamboozled!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiooiooi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A panda walks into a bar.

He gobbles some beer nuts, then pulls out a pistol, fires it in the air, and heads for the door.

β€œHey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, β€œI’m a panda! Google me!”

β€œA tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sup_mike
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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What do pandas call their significant other?

Their Bam-boo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsyBookNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Chinese synthesize new element which causes a 500% increase rate of panda mating

It's panda-moan-ium.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Psyched_to_Learn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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They should name a panda born this year Mick...

Then it could be the panda Mick of 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McPepperdoodle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Freaking pandas
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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What does a panda ghost eat?

Bam-Boo!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender β€œI’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. β€œSure thing” the bartender replies and asks β€œbut what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says β€œI was born with them”

πŸ‘︎ 427
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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What does a panda use to make pancakes?

A pan...duh

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodrica
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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So this panda bear walks into a bar.

He goes up to the bartender and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, then takes out a gun, shoots the piano player, and goes to walk out.

The bartender says what the heck are you doing?

I'm a panda. It's what I do. Look it up.

So the bartender gets out his dictionary. You know, for settling bets. You didn't have a problem with the piano player, just go with it.

So, sure enough, there it is in the dictionary.

Panda bear, noun. Not a true bear, eats shoots and leaves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Why did the WHO warn people about putting pandas in blenders?

Because it causes pandemix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeek-lukhulu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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Someone tricked me into giving him all my panda food...

I've been bamboozled!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PugPianist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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What happens when a panda escapes the zoo?

It causes a panda-monium

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankwizard69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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What happens when Po from kung fu panda acts like a jerk?

He becomes a skadouchebag

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phail64endo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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PANDA starts and ends with PANDA
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jain_harsh21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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What's a Panda's Favorite Form of Literature?

Po-ems

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/John_isnt_my_name
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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How did the panda escape the hunter?

Bear-ly

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flare1206
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Which country is famous for its pandas ?

Po-land

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Ya ever hear of the panda girlfriend that tried tricking her panda boyfriend into eating vegan?

Needless to say... he was bamboozled

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomida
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The pandas escaped from the local zoo

There was complete pandamonium

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oz_Boi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Hey y'all, I thought Panda Express didn't have MSG in it...

...but I keep finding all of these MSGs in my fortune cookies.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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How do you scare a panda bear?

With BamBOO

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Panda stealing all those plants?

She was a real bamboozler...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jedi_Lucky
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a panda with no teeth ?

A gummy Bear

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xd_Velociraptor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a panda has an orgasm?

Pandemonium.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GavinsPlaygroup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a panda bears favorite drink?

Bambooze

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/why-it-be
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The panda bears rioted in the streets of Beijing today.

It was pandamonium!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How do pandas get drunk?

Bambooze

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konik1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
To spell "panda" all you need is..

.. p and a.

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmh4321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender β€œI’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. β€œSure thing” the bartender replies and asks β€œbut what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says β€œI was born with them”

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do ghost pandas eat?

Bam-boo!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sasherrrrz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A panda walks into a bar

He eats shoots and leaves

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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