Make America Grate Again!
Sphinx wrapped
Gershwin's rapped CD's in blue.
He wants to Make America Grate Again
A cantina.
Guess he made a missed steak.
It’s mail-dominated.
I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?
Because it was de-livered.
That's just nuts!
Because their Amazon only goes to the northern part of South America.
I replied, now you know how I feel.
She asked what had happened to it,
I told her the box had a leek in it.
...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.
Fiancé: Oh, I didn't realise she was ordering packages.
Me: She must've gone to the bank to get herself a debit card.
Fiancé: Nah, she just went to the neighbours tree.
Me: Huh?
Fiancé: The local branch.
Looks like the boa cons tricked her...
🙋♀️Thanks mailman
🙋♂️You’re welcome female woman
A Fed-Ex Ex-Fed!
They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.
FedUp.
You call USPSpspspspspspsps.
Inflation
I think my delivery may be off.
I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.
Let's see what you can do!
What you need to know about the game:
- You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
- Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
- You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.
That's basically it.
It will be bursting with flavor!
You could say I completely wiped out.
So my wife is currently working from home and her employer decided to send her a hamper package in the mail. It was quite nice but pretty standard stuff. Wine, some cookies, crackers and also a bottle extra virgin olive oil (came with a cheese platter kit)
Wife was pretty happy about the fancy packaging and showed it to me saying "look they even sent extra virgin olive oil in this little fancy bottle for cheese platters!"
My response? "Aww that poor olive oil bottle never had sex? So sad!"
...Pls send help
A 3rd ant joined, and beat them both, and started gloating about it.
The two ants said, "that wasn't a race. We were just following instructions."
The 3rd ant asked, "what instructions?"
The two ants said, "see right here, it says 'tear across dotted line.'"
Because he was very good at orienting objects.
(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)
Fed Ex.
In a blister pack.
It was an Amazon Crime
Make America grate again.
