It wooden start
He said "Maybe next time you should get premie carrots instead."
Unfortunately the supermarket was out of stock.
I told him; ‘Surgery’.
She was able to cosine.
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!
I replied: "Ola Sauce, Soy Dad."
He whispered to his date, “I have toupeé.”
It had Windows
Poor wife has a terrible headache.
So I got her a Juansie.
Eureka!
ICU later.
Nurse: Doctor I took all the lung, kidney and heart donors and alphabetised them.
Doctor: Wow, that’s very ORGAN-ized
To be honest, his Sinatra wasn't that bad.
So we did it squid pro quo
I said we could table it for now.
"What's the equation? (occasion)"
“Time to learn about Chex and balances”
🎶"Give me three forks,
Give me three forks sweetie,
Give me three forks from the drawer.
Give me three forks,
Give me three forks baby,
And I won't ask you for four." 🎵
I’m officiating a wedding Saturday and want to weave in some of your finest. Please share some of your best to help me deliver some laughs!
Edit: ... help me deliver some eye rolls and long nasal exhalations.
She's been pushing me around and talking behind my back
“Mom, I’m Hungary”
(Eastern euro joke 7/7)
For Pete's sake, I guess he wants me to pay for it myself!
He started clapping.
(Obligatory: actually happened today, my mom messaged me to complain about his bad joke. I thought it was fucking hilarious.)
Padme
(As in, pad of paper)
He said he was going to be involved in a drive by shooting.
I said OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
He said no, this is light.
It’s hard to talk when you have 45 gummy bears stuffed in your mouth
I stand corrected
He didn’t want to steal his thunder
I wasn't sure I was ready for that, so I asked her if I could start with amateur-gressive lenses first.
I thought they were key workers?
