Last time I chnecked neck puns weren't a thing. Neckst time I hear a neck pun I will wrneck you with my bioneckology.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LIN88xxx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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This bloke said to me: β€˜I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’

I said: β€˜Is that a fret?'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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When someone calls you a pain in the neck..

They really mean you’re a pain in the assophagus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roctuplets
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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The french revolution was kind of a pain in the neck, but once it was over it was a weight off of some people's shoulders
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Someone said they would bash me with the neck of their guitar

Is that a fret?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Why do vampires bite people's necks to turn them undead?

Because they're neck romancers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eepdog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?

The Coup Klux Klan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMV03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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My friend was worried about hitting all the bars on his guitar neck at his recital...

I told him not to fret.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Neck pain
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breckendusk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Last year wasn't much fun having a broken neck injury..

.. but at least now, I can look back and laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Did you know that newborns have weak necks and need to have their heads supported?

Just a heads up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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This year, my friend decided to play his string instrument with a neck and a deep round back enclosing a hollow cavity, with a sound hole in the body at the voting booths...

He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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I got into this huge fight with my chiropractor half way through my neck massage.

Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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It took me a long time to recover from my broken neck

but afterwards, I never looked back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?

Finger prince.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowjenga
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I recently bought my only Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday.

.. just so glad She's now finally independent.

πŸ‘︎ 554
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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I cricked my neck a few weeks ago and it’s changed my life forever.

I haven’t looked back since

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tackit286
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?

Because their head is so far from their body

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.

I guess I’ll have to work my way up to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnjm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Why do giraffes have long necks?

To reach their heads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck.

The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?

Voting has ended. It's a tie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I found out recently that it’s very common for Clowns to suffer from bad necks.

I guess it’s because they always sleep funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lethalwolfy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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My guitar neck got nervous

I said β€œdon’t fret”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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A man with a guitar walked up to me and said that he had a case of writers block.

Nothing to fret about.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KinglerKong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Where don't you want to find a pearl?

In your lovers clam!

Inspired by the Jolly Rancher story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YetAnotherSmith
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I had a neck brace fitted years ago...

And I've never looked back since

Edit: spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Tried some viagra in the bedroom with my wife but it got stuck in my throat

I've had a stiff neck for a week

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snozzcumberbatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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My doctor bit my neck and tried to give me a hickey.

1 star review for Dr. Acula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Gravity Falls has the best puns
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IRONGOD2020
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I'm sticking my neck out on this one
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Someone wanted to fight about whether I was wearing a neck-tie or a cravat.

I don’t know who was right, either way my ascot kicked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeocal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur with a cramped neck?

A dino sore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramilehti
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.

Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swaggerdagger54
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Where do you find the best neck accessories?

Tie-land!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alehan85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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I need some giraffe puns!

Hi, everyone! A while back, I won a large stuffed giraffe in a contest, and it's just been sitting in my basement ever since. However, I've decided to use it to ask a girl to prom. My friends all know me as the resident pun aficionado, so I figured writing out a cute way of asking alongside it would work well. I'm struggling to come up with something, so I was wondering if you guys had any quality giraffe or neck puns I could use. Thanks in advance!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EtherealProphet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
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Was in a bar when this guy said to me, β€œI’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar!” I shot back...

β€œIs that a fret?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.

I said to him is that a Fret!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?

Because it’s head is so far away from it’s body.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stuphoria
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because its head is so far from its body.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rednarb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said, β€œIs that a fret?”

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safazz146
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Why is a giraffes neck so long?

Because its head is so far from its body...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Last year it certainly wasn't much fun having a broken neck.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Why is a giraffes neck so long?

because their head is really far away from their body

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImOverThereNow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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It was no fun when I sprained my neck in a car accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Some guy just threatened to attack me with a neck of a guitar.

I said "Is that a fret?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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