I told my wife I had the body of a young muscled and sexy man, she laughed real hard and me fun of me
Until she looked in the closet
I pulled a muscle while digging up gold
What do you get if you don’t move a single muscle all week?
I pulled a muscle while trying to come up with some synonyms.
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
What the best way to make a muscle contract?
Make them sign on the dotted line.
Why I don't drive muscle cars?
Because I'm not shellfish.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent
Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.
Got a lot of it in quarantine
What's a circus performers favorite muscle?
What do you call a muscle-bound bee?
I wasn’t a big fan of having muscle when I started weightlifting
It’s growing on me though
What did the lips say to the facial muscle?
What do you call an Egyption's butt muscle?
What do you call A cop with A pulled muscle?
What’s the strongest muscle in your nose?
Doctor: “You’ve damaged several muscles including your calf and your quad.”
Patient: “Is that true, or are you just pulling my leg?”
Do you know what makes me smile? Facial muscles
What do you call a guy with big muscles and small brains?
I asked my personal trainer for another way to work my trapezius muscles besides doing pull downs...
He shrugged and walked away.
People get mad that I'm able to control my iris using nothing but extraocular muscles
The Gluteus Maximus is the largest muscle of the body.
Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.
By the way. I was hit with a huge piece of animal muscles from outer space yesterday. I used it to make steaks after.
I was hit by a meaty-ore.
My doctor told me that I won an award for my rare muscle condition.
Jewish people are so strong
My first car was a muscle car.
Every morning I had to push it to start.
So I was scrambling some eggs this morning and if you know me, I like my eggs real scrambled. So I was going at these eggs hard, using all of my muscle to whisk these bad boys, when suddenly my arm goes numb and I passed out.
I guess you could say I “over-eggxerted” myself.
I told my dad that I pulled a muscle
He told me to push it back
After an intense session at the gym, I asked my personal trainer what was the best way to show off my new muscles.
He told me to hang upside down from a tree branch and curl my arms behind my back.
I said “weird flex but OK”
I never understood why muscles get a trophy...
How do Aliens gain muscle?
What did the joint say when asked if it'd be at the Muscle Party?
I pulled a muscle swinging my pickaxe.
I pulled a muscle while I was digging for gold.
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?
I pulled a muscle digging for gold
I pulled a muscle digging for gold
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
Wanna know what makes me smile?
Do you know what really makes me laugh? Facial muscles.
Do you know what really makes me laugh? Facial muscles.
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
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