I heard someone was planning a murder
I was worried until I found out he was a Crow
Murder is not a joke, Jim!
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
I asked a friend for one reason I shouldn't murder my boss.
His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
Murders being conducted all over this block
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
What do you call appetizers at a murder mystery party?
I witnessed a murder today
But as I got closer it flew away
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?
Did you hear about the murder in the clown mafia?
The police are saying it was an inside joke.
How did the pasta get away with murder?
The prosecution had gnocci witnesses
What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?
Investigators aren't sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.
If a group of crows is called a murder of crows...
does that mean 2 or 3 would be an attempted murder?
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
Who decided to call them “murder hornets”
We then asked a artist about the murder:
“I art to be feeling bad” they said
I thought I witnessed a murder today
I only counted 2 crows though, so I guess it was really an attempted murder
A serial killer murders people by suffocating them with pig intestines
His media name is Wurst Case Scenario
A fish goes to court for murder
The fish is found “gill”ty
What do you call a pub that’s famous for its murders?
Today in the paper I saw that there was a murder in my neighbourhood.
Now that is quite the issue
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
I bought a murder mystery jigsaw.
I'm still trying to piece it together.
The court released the suspect on the grounds of being on an armor show on the night of the murder ...
it was an ironclad alibi!
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
Two police officers were investigating a murder scene.
They stumble upon a humanoid cement figure.
Officer 1: "Sir, we've found all the evidence we need to prove that this is the murderer's house."
Officer 2: "Why would anyone believe that this is evidence?"
Officer 1: "It's concrete."
A group of crows is called a murder, but what do you call a group of really loud crows?
How do you get a murder of crows to stick together?
What happened to the murder hornets?
They were told to buzz off.
The murder in the botanical garden had a very obvious suspect
Turns out the evidence was planted
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
What do you call someone who commits a murder with a deck of cards that only has clubs, spades, and diamonds?
In order to have a murder of crows, there must be probable caws.
Cop 1: This murder seems racially motivated.
Cop 2: Hate crime?
Cop 1: Of course I hate crime. That’s why I became a cop.
I’m creating a new show about a leatherworker that goes crazy and murders his relatives
It’s called Awl in the Family
Why didn’t the skeleton go through with the murder?
It didn’t have the heart to do it.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
What happened to the murder hornets?
They were told to buzz off!
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
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