I built a model of Mt.Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?" I replied "No."

"It's to look at. "

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didn’t have what I was looking for and that I wasn’t allowed to leave.

There was no Escape.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.

I couldn't sway him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The problem with models

… is they’re all such posers.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ejpiller
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the summer camp for aspiring models? They’re hiring counselors for next year, but it’s not for everyone.

The camp goers are pretty intense.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xilshin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are models against air conditioning?

Because they use OnlyFans

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skyhighjams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
New model
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the snail buy a Tesla Model S?

To drive it around and make people say "look at that S car go!"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a girl group that consist of failed fashion models.

They are called One Expression

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter gave me some model clay earlier.

I didn’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arcadoodles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I caught a person faking being a model

They were a total poser

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
From my 8 year old, on his path to becoming a great dad: "What did the designers of Darth Vader's costume model it on?"

Mannequin Skywalker

πŸ‘︎ 295
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slavejamhour
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t seen this model before
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fineswords
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If good looks were a crime.....

I'd still be a law abiding citizen.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Models of dragons are not to scale
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Quarantine day 25: Found my husband working on the patio with his scroll saw. Yes. It's a scale model.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cynthiaimprov
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
(with thanks for encouragement from u/sherbert_suspicious): I built a little model sports car car for my snail, and called it an S-car for Snail.

Every where he drove it, people shouted "Look at that S-Car go!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a wolf that models suits?

A wear wolf

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealBobbyC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I have very little trust in models

They are all a bunch of posers.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees

I guess you could say he couldn’t see the faux wrist for the tees.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DAMWrite1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Pun

I just realized that Canadians have the best currency, they can buy things with it AND do 3D modeling!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niswendel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.

Guess it is a pretty loco motive

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Michael428
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
my 65y/o wife is always taking a photo with her legs shown like a model.

she's very vein.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kajo08
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to build a model of the solar system.

Just have to planet.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I really enjoy my job as a claymation model designer

I make six figures a year

πŸ‘︎ 386
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1DameMaggieSmith
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought the last ceiling fan they had at the store...

unfortunately, it was a floor model. My ankles are killing me!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joepopp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My style of painting is rather curious

so I asked the model to pose me a question.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I get it, you hated him 4 years ago ...

... and you still hate him now. But now he's an official resident of Florida and I may see him differently now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. That's what the people who support him love about him. Yes, there have been some scandals. Yes, there have been some lies and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better. He's out there everyday proving those haters wrong time after time. Call it jealously, call it envy. Some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has. They could even be jealous that he's got a hot, foreign model as his wife. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there is nothing you or I can do about it. I know it'll possibly get worse over the next several days, but like him or not, Tom Brady is turning things around in Tampa Bay.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eaglehawk2011
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I was studying the model of an atom.

I found it pretty Bohring.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jo-Sizzle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A stone with a lot of achievements is a roll model.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarkeStrawberry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't get the job as a tuxedo model

They said I was unsuitable.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend Adam was telling me how, in addition to marrying a hot super model whose daddy bought the house he lives in and the car he drives just for marrying his daughter, he was also sexing up a hot stewardess. I found it hard to believe...

Because Adams make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm 6 foot 6 inches (~196cm) and I recently found the cause for my back problems.

Almost everyone looks up to me. Being a role model to that many people is a lot of weight for one to carry on their shoulders.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilkid96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Thin soup
πŸ‘︎ 317
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markrakosfalvy
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who married an Instagram model?

He didn’t even give it a second thot

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/utprosim1225
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Yeah, I used to be a model

A balaclava model

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DemXcius
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm going broke trying to model my life based on the plot of "Fight Club"

You could say I'm living my life paycheck to Palahniuk

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knowses
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, β€œIs it to scale?” I replied, β€œNo…”

β€œIt’s to look at.”

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, "Is it to scale?"

I replied, "NO!! It's to look at."

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
"I've built a model of Mount Everest "

"Is it to scale? " "No,just to look at! "

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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