the persons name was richard
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Cardinal Directions
It's a minute tour.
I told him they look oak-eh.
He knows Watson.
I used to feel important but now i just have very poor circulation
...if you don't care where you're going.
He’s my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
Tour guide: And did you know that if you live across from a cemetery, you can’t be buried there?
Me: What?? Why not?
Tour guide: Because you’re still alive!
It's a step by step guide.
At the Sherpa Image store!
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
A shop keeper asks him what he is doing and he replies "Taking a look around."
Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:
"Just looking around..."
They especially enjoyed watching the clowns.
We won a backstage tour after the show, and happened to notice that all the people who were tallying up the tickets and sales were dressed as clowns, and happened to be little people...but none of them had been in the performances. When I asked the tour guide why they were dressed up even though they weren’t in the show, he replied, “Don’t you know? It’s the little jesters that count”.
...does that make them your Spirit Guide?
It's a step-by-step guide
...Thank you for visiting the two-wheeled, self-balancing personal transporter museum today; I hope you had a good time. Speaking of good times, check out the food court and gift shop before you leave.
Me: That's a Segway
It made a good ad visor.
It was a Navigator
Step 1: walk up to dad Step 2: tell dad a joke
Question in study guide: The term evacuative proctography is also commonly called ____________.
Me studying alone: um, hmm....eeesh..not sure..idk. Oh wait, defacogram!
Also me, silently: can’t believe I just pulled that answer outta my ass
He said, “No, they usually come that way.”
Catherine: Dylan.
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
He thought, “Finally! I put A Dent in that book!”
We only had one star.
Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 6, Step 12
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Hospital
Step 1:
Step 2:
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Step 25:
Hospital
It's a step by step guide.
Step 1.
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Step 6, Step 12
It's a step by step guide
Step 1. Step2. Step 3. Step 4. Step 5. Step 6. ...
Step 1.
Step 1.
Step 1.
