My friend Pete had a buddy who copied everything he did.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
What do you do after your dental records are copied?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2018
I found a large collection of dad jokes and I copied the best ones. The first 10 are great but the last one is fucking gold.
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great
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great
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great
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great
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great
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great
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great
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great
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great
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great
-
fucking gold
π︎ 86
π
︎ Oct 27 2015
Did you hear about the Hispanic comedians that copied each other?
They're Juan and the same.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 19 2016
Idk if this is copied or a dad joke at all. I just heard it
What Is The Difference Between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Dubai Doesn't Watch The Flinstones. But Abu Dhabi Do!
This joke srsly sux
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 11 2016
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
π︎ 215
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
Anyone want my old copies of Chiropractor Monthly ?
I have got loads of back issues.
π︎ 119
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
What do you call a copy cat app of reddit?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Someone stole my copy of Microsoft Office!
I dont know who you are, but I WILL get you for this. You have my Word.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
After copying the Greeks and Etruscans of course
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
A copy of A Christmas Carol fell on my toe!
It hurts like the Dickens >_<
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
How do you make a copy of the fabled one eyed Greek creature?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
A proud dad sits down to have a drink with his father.
"Well son , now that you have got a kid of your own, i think it's time to give you this."
"Dad you don't mean-"
"Yes son ,i do"
Dad pulls out the copy of 1001 Dad Jokes,5th Edition
"Dad... i am honoured..." , He says , tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured" , replies his father , "i'm dad".
π︎ 426
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
I was addicted to the hokey pokey
but i turned myself around. ainβt that whatβs itβs all about?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
I asked Rick Astley to let me borrow his copy of the movie UP.
He said he'd never give it to me.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
My boss walked into my office this morning and handed me a brochure on anger management.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
Did you hear that the Air Force just bought a bunch of copies of The Little Mermaid on DVD?
They must be preparing for an Ariel assault.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
What do you call a potato that copies all the other potatoes?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
People say Iβm a plagiarist.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
What do you call it when a woman copies anotherβs boob job?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
Who is the patron saint of copying people in emails?
π︎ 76
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
My printer was making music so I checked it out.
π︎ 163
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Where do you keep your copy of the Communist Manifesto?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
π︎ 305
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
I saw a really accurate cosplay of frozen Han Solo.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly I have back issues.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 08 2020
My dog fell asleep on my copy of the screenplay for Dodgeball...
It's a true underdog story.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
Two goldfish are in a tank...
One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
π︎ 55
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
My wife and I met at the store when we were both buying a copy of the Disney movie βupβ
It was the perfect meet cute and we kept both copies even after getting married. It was sweet. Not all things are meant to last and when things got a bit rocky we decided to get divorced. I let her keep the apartment and moved my stuff out. Unfortunately, we live in one of those states that mail out ballots. She sent me a text a week after I had left to let me know my ballot had come to the apartment. We had ended things amicably, but neither of us wanted to see each other so soon. Committed to my civic duty, I dropped by after work the next day. When she opened the door she was in tears. She had me come in and I immediately saw it, I had forgotten to take my copy of the movie. Somehow, this felt more final than actually signing the divorce papers. I still cared about her, so I asked if she wanted to talk at all. She shook her head and said through tears, βJust take your Up, vote and go.β
π︎ 811
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
I'm disappointed this Bible for the blind isn't called "The Holy Braille"
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Larry Tesler, the inventor of copy and paste died today.
Larry Tesler, the inventor of copy and paste died today. Larry Tesler, the inventor of copy and paste died today. Larry Tesler, the inventor of copy and paste died today. Larry Tesler, the inventor of copy and paste died today.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Feb 20 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will hunt you down.
You have my word.
(My dad put wrote this on the fridge, pls don't kill)
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 17 2020
"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 13 2020
Last time I was in Paris...
...I went up to a newsstand that wasn't doing much business and asked the proprietor for a copy of Le Monde. I knew it would mean the world to him.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
Copy cat
π︎ 587
π
︎ Jul 02 2019
If someone copies the way I make pasta
Did they just copy-pasta?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 12 2020
I bought a copy of MS Office, but I dropped it on the road going back to my car...
...well, that's the Word on the street.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 21 2020
There is a robot creating art by copying things frΓ₯m star wars. Art o' dito
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
Tepsodent. Polgate. Glose-up. Don't trust them. They are all copy-paste.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 23 2020
Anyone want some old copies of Chiropractor Monthly ?
Iβve got loads of back issues.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Anybody want my old copies of Chiropractic Monthly?
I have lots of back issues
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
You stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
Anyone want my old copies of Chiropractor Monthly....
I've got loads of back issues.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you...
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jul 09 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office:
I will find you. You have my Word!
π︎ 204
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you. You have my Word!
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 06 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 19 2020
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
π︎ 267
π
︎ Sep 16 2019
To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Jan 23 2020
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