There were two astronauts having coffee, one of them was complaining about not being able to use milk.
The other astronaut said, "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It’s pasteurized before you see it….
I’ll see my self out
Edit: wow thank all you lovely people for the awards!
What kind of bees make milk?
What do you call a cow with no milk?
What do you call a frog that can’t drink milk?
My friend asked me "why do you keep an empty bottle of milk in the fridge?"
I replied "in case any visitors want a black coffee."
Did you hear about the cow that stopped giving milk?
Farmers that talk to their cows get more milk...
It's in one ear and out the udder.
vegan child: they now make mozzarella without milk.
What’s the rallying cry of that new sect of Christianity based around fermented milk?
The checker at the grocery store asked me if I wanted my milk in a bag.
I told her to leave it in the carton.
I've probably told checkers that 100 times, and not once did they get the joke.
What is the best way to store breast milk?
My wife said she wanted to take a bath in milk, I asked would pasteurised be ok.
She said up to my chest will be fine.
When I was a kid, my mother used to give me 10$ and send me to the market. I could take 1lt of milk, 10 eggs, flour, 3 bread loaves and two steaks, Today it’s impossible…
…all because of those damn security cameras.
Yesterday my wife and I were leaving a parking spot. There was a black and white car ahead of us.
Wife: It's a cow car!
Me: It's a moooo-tor vehicle!
Wife: polite chuckle
Me: It's udderly fun to drive!
Wife: ...
Me: It has a cattle-lytic converter.
Wife: You can stop any time.
why does the milk in the church taste better?
Because it was PASTEUR-ized.
We should change the name of powdered milk to..
what sounds does a cow make when it runs out of milk?
Non, there's udder silence
Yo Dadda so fat, he left to get milk 5 years ago and you can still see him
Oh...Dad jokes. Not dad jokes. Apologies
What did the dad say to his son when he spilled the milk?
Why can’t you catch milk?
Because by the time you reach for it, it’s pasteurise.
How do spiders spell “milk”?
A man just texted me 'milk'
How darehe
(Credit u/bimuna)
If you don't like milk jokes
You might be laughtose intolerant
How many vitamins and minerals should your child's milk have?
2? 12? 34? Whatever number you may have in mind, add 45 to it. Because the answer is always fortify more
The Mandalorian, pouring off the by-product of his batch of Bantha milk blue cheese:
I had Door Dash deliver some Burger King, and I ordered a milk shake because, why not? The Door Dash guy brought it to my door and it was good.
Then I realized - my milkshake literally brought a boy to the yard.
I hear the editor for Milk magazine is really good
Nothing gets passed her eyes
Did you know milk is the fastest drink?
It's pastureized before you even notice.
When I asked my son what he was drinking, he responded with “soy milk”
Recent studies show that cows enjoy music and that it helps them give more milk. The reason why?
Because it's very mooving to them.
Where do angels get milk for their cereal?
Why is milk difficult to see?
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on Earth?
It’s pasteurized before you even see it.
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you can even see it.
What kind of bees make milk?
What kind of bees make milk?
Why is milk the fastest liquid?
It's pasteurized before you see it
What kind of bees produce milk?
What kind of bees make milk?
What kind of bees make milk?
If a cow doesn’t produce milk…
Is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in the universe?
Before you see it, it's already pasteurized
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