How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
I've decided to marry a pencil.
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
My dad always told me, “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
She knows how to make a bad decision and still stick with it.
Was on a Skype call with my best friend and her cat. Midway, the cat just got up and left to which my friend exclaimed "Le chat just left the chat". Marry this person.
I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me, but first I must ask her dad some questions...
I have to question the pop before I pop the question.
As soon as you find someone who has 10,000 bees, marry him or her.
That’s how you know he or she is a keeper.
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail
But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman...
The kids weren't much to look at!
My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry eachother.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
Why was everyone shocked when the fruit fly's girlfriend agreed to marry him?
Because the pair had only ever been on rotten dates.
What do you give to a potato chip that you want to marry?
So I wanted to marry a muskmelon against my family's will
Unfortunately I cantaloupe
Joe Exotic persuaded two straight men to marry him
Want to find out how?
You do the Meth!
When a woman marries a sultan, she becomes a sultana
Of course, she has to date him first.
(courtesy of my daughter) #proudfathermomemt
Ten years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.
Never marry an archaeologist
They're always digging up the past.
You know, if you can't marry your crush.
Why wouldn’t Ms. Potato Head marry Tom Brokaw?
He was just a common-tater.
My brother said that if he's going to marry a woman she must always be with him
Well, he's a mailman so things are going to be rough
Who did Mr. Hippie marry?
Mrs. Hippie!!
Ya know.. like "Mississippi"?!?
Why didn't the potato let his daughter marry the sports announcer?
Never marry a Tennis player
Love means nothing to them.
if a man from Cuba marries a lady from Iceland, and they have kids...
...would they be considered ice cubes?
If a Greyjoy were to marry a Dothraki warlord, their son would be named Khal Amari.
If your girl can cook Chinese. Marry her.
Who did the wizard marry?
Different dads have different ways of choosing who to marry ...
... it depends on a kiss-to-kiss basis.
Went to ask my girlfriends father for permission to marry
He replied: "Give me one good reason you'd make a good husband or even a decent father or I'm leaving!"
I said: "Hi leaving I'm John!"
The wedding is next month
In my family we only marry our relatives.
My dad married my mom, my uncle married my aunt, and my grandpa married my grandma, etc.
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...
"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
Why did the protractor marry the calculator?
It was a math made in heaven.
Daughter, never marry a vegetarian
he won’t bring home the bacon.
I've been falling deeper in love with my SO since we started dating. Last night, a typo started an impromptu pun-off. I'm going to marry her one day.
imgur.com/hGesY0K
If a Cuban man marries a woman from Iceland and have children, can the children be considered ice cubes?
If a guy from Holland marries a Filipino will their children be....
What is it called when someone marries their dog?
My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.
I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!
Me: dad can i marry my grandmom
Dad: You WaNt To MaRrY mY mOm
Me: you married my mom but u don't see me complain about it
LPT: If your girlfriend can cook spicy Chinese food, marry her.
Because Schezwan of a kind.
Why’d the Banker marry the Mermaid?
If your girlfriend can cook good Chinese food, you’d better marry her...
What do you call a brother and sister who marry eachother for financial gain.
Why a man wants to get married is a mystery to some. Why he would want to marry more than one wife...
When Vietnamese people marry each other, it’s a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
I can't let my daughter marry a photographer
They shoot, hang and frame people for a living.
What fruit resembles people who can’t marry?
A man walks into a bar looking depressed. Bar tender asks whats wrong? Man says its his 50th wedding anniversary. And that when he was a teenager he got his girl friend pregnant. And to make it worse the father was a Judge and he told me if i did'nt marry his daughter i would go to Jail for 50 year
Today I could be a free man !
What should you say to a man who tries to marry a melon?
Why did the woman marry a drawbridge?
Why did Mr.ohm marry Mrs.ohm?
Because he couldn’t resistor.
I wrote “Would you marry me?” on a balloon to propose to my girlfriend.
Then I started getting cold feet, and popped the question.
What kind of fruit isn't allowed to marry?
Why did the billionaire not marry the hot young kitten?
He wanted to avoid a cat-as-trophy
What did one melon say to her boyfriend when he asked her to run away and marry him?
How my husband knew he would marry me
(Background: at this point in time my family had chickens on the property and my husband liked them.)
Husband: *playing with chickens*
Me: Honey, how many times do I have to tell you to not play with your food? *smiles sheepishly*
Husband: (hubby.exe processing) we are so getting married.
Why did Han Solo wait to ask Princess Leia to marry him ?
He didn’t want to force it
She dreamed of the day she'd marry
My friend’s girlfriend wrote “Will you marry me?” on a piece of paper and hid it in his sandwich. Bad news: He didn’t see it and ate the whole thing.
Good news: He pooped the question the next morning.
I've decided to marry a pencil
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B
Why couldn't the melons marry?
An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
My son was just born(!) and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry eachother.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
My dad always told me to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo, and try to convince her to marry me.
They know how to make a bad decision, and then stick to it.
My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry each other.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
The best advice my dad gave me was to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her.
She knows how to make bad decisions, yet stick by them.
Never marry a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
Who did the wizard marry?
Who did the wizard marry?
Why should you never marry a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.
My dad always told me to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her...
She knows how to make bad decisions and stick to them...
Who did the wizard marry?
My dad always said, “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
3 years ago I asked my crush out, today I asked her to marry me
Who did the wizard marry?
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she came out if jail
However, you can't end a sentence with a proposition
As soon as you find out someone has 10,000 bees, marry them.
That’s when you know that they’ll be a keeper.
As soon as you find someone with 10,000 bees, marry them.
That’s how you know they’re a keeper.
My dad always said “Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them”
My dad used to say "find a girl that has an embarassing tattoo and convience her to marry you."
"She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them."
I told my son to not marry a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player?
Love means nothing to them
As soon as you find out someone has 10,000 bees, Marry them.
Why should you never marry a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them.
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