One melon turns to the other and asks, "Will you marry me?"

The other responds, "Yes, but we cantaloupe."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twomoose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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5 years ago today I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.

All 3 said No!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry eachother.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CulturedGrass
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Marry me?
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...

β€œShe knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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Will YOU marry me?
πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glowstick2019
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me, but first I must ask her dad some questions...

I have to question the pop before I pop the question.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.

I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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Me: dad can i marry my grandmom

Dad: You WaNt To MaRrY mY mOm Me: you married my mom but u don't see me complain about it

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/it-is_me
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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A man walks into a bar looking depressed. Bar tender asks whats wrong? Man says its his 50th wedding anniversary. And that when he was a teenager he got his girl friend pregnant. And to make it worse the father was a Judge and he told me if i did'nt marry his daughter i would go to Jail for 50 year

Today I could be a free man !

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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How my husband knew he would marry me

(Background: at this point in time my family had chickens on the property and my husband liked them.)

Husband: *playing with chickens*

Me: Honey, how many times do I have to tell you to not play with your food? *smiles sheepishly*

Husband: (hubby.exe processing) we are so getting married.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/witchy_mom94
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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I wrote β€œWould you marry me?” on a balloon to propose to my girlfriend.

Then I started getting cold feet, and popped the question.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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My friend’s girlfriend wrote β€œWill you marry me?” on a piece of paper and hid it in his sandwich. Bad news: He didn’t see it and ate the whole thing.

Good news: He pooped the question the next morning.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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My daughter told me she loves her new bed. I told her "Why don't you marry it?"

Now she won't stop wedding it. I hope plastic sheets are in the registry.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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Punctuation is everything: "Will you marry me" is a marriage proposal

"Will, you, Mary, Me" = a Foursome Inquiry

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2016
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My dad always told me, β€œFind a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

She knows how to make a bad decision and still stick with it.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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My son was just born(!) and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry eachother.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...

πŸ‘︎ 24k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nachbar
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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Ten years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.

All three said no.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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The best advice my dad gave me was to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her.

She knows how to make bad decisions, yet stick by them.

πŸ‘︎ 980
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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My dad always told me to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo, and try to convince her to marry me.

They know how to make a bad decision, and then stick to it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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My dad always told me to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her...

She knows how to make bad decisions and stick to them...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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3 years ago I asked my crush out, today I asked her to marry me

She said no both times

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shutdownbyanxiety
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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Three Years ago today I asked this beautiful girl out to dinner, and today I asked her to marry me.

She said "No" both times.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObviousLobster
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
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