I asked her, "Why would you want to wash markers?"
He brought up someone who ordered a headstone with a picture of a wrecker etched into it. We wondered who it was, and he brought up the buyer's name (hereafter Bob). "Bob still lives out on the north side of the city where we went to school."
"Did he die?" my mother asked.
"No," he answered.
I chimed in. "Mom, he just said Bob lives there."
The pet shop buoys
His friend says "you make a fine point."
Buoys will be buoys.
They're re-markable.
Boy, was my face red!
Because they are all good buoys.
It was a colorful tune.
My daughter was playing with those washable Crayola Window markers you can write on the windows with and my dad comes downstairs and asks
βAre those an upgrade from Dos markers?β
I said, βThatβsβ¦my signature dish.β
In Miles, more or less
I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."
My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.
EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)
Who's there?
Broken pencil!
broken pencil who?!
Nevermind it's pointless!!!
so I added an "ing"
They both run in your genes.
A Cryola
It was definitely a Sharpie!
I am remarkable!
He really did a number on me
.....and thatβs when I drew the line.
We write our grocery list on a whiteboard. She wrote down " tri-erase markers". I told her "honey they are dry erase not try erase". Without missing a beat she says "Well I wanted three". π₯°
Because he wanted inde-pen-dence.
A highlighter
It was the highlight of my whole day, actually.
It just seems like a dying industry...
It looks remarkable.
The little shit used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
But refuses to tell me where she hid the markers.
"So, I put a paper in the mailboxes of a few teachers."
"Oh jeez. What did you do this time?"
"I typed a Word Document that said 'Please fill out this form' and left the rest of the page blank. dad cackle
You shoulda heard what they were saying: 'Why did they give ME one? Did YOU get one?' Everyone was losing their minds!"
With a red marker
That is it. That is the joke. Welcome to Asheville, NC.
https://www.bpr.org/post/vance-monument-fully-shrouded-lee-marker-removed
Some of them were pretty strange: only he could understand them and explaining the 'pun' to somebody else would take like half an hour. Anyway-
He said, "So I'll go first?"
I said sure.
I think he took "pun-a-thon" a bit too literally - he took out a marker and drew a point, and then he kept drawing this straight line (he's good at drawing straight lines) while taking how many ever steps back. I for one was concerned, because first off I didn't know how long I'd have to stick around for this, and second of all, I didn't know if I could clean the mess he'd inevitably leave behind.
He kept drawing this line! We stepped out of my living room, then my apartment which was on ground-level, and he kept drawing it. He drew his line all the way through the corridor, up until the entrance to the building, and when I kept asking him if he's done yet, he didn't say a word. I had to keep subtly reassuring security and everyone who was staring at my friend hunched over like that robot from Wall-E.
He stepped out of the building and kept on drawing his line. At this point I was trying to guess what the hell is the outcome. I kept screaming punchlines at him like "is this where you draw the line?", "are you going to punch me after this so this is a punchline?" and shit like that. There were people following us and two were taking videos and it was really fucking uncomfortable.
Right after he was outside the building and the premises, he started to draw this stunning drawing of the building right on the pavement. It was almost magical, as if he had been commissioned to make an ad for my place but for a million bucks. At this point the people who were following us didn't even get pissed off because they were so engrossed in his drawing. I was surprised the marker kept going on.
After about 20 minutes - he was a real quick draw (no pun intended) - he stood up and a crowd of two dozen clapped and cheered for him.
I told him, "Dude that looks fucking amazing, but I thought we were in a pun-a-thon. Why such a long set-up?"
He replied, "Yeah it was pretty drawn out."
(for more drawn-out jokes like this, visit r/feghoot!)
This older guy came in with his grandson and paid with a $100. As is policy, I had to use the marker to make sure it was real and look for the line. I asked someone to get me a marker, and the grandpa says, "I promise it's good, made it last night!"
It's nice when people have a sense of humor.
