A thief took my Microsoft Office license key

I'll come and get you thief! You have my Word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danuser8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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To the person who stole my Microsoft Office license.

I'm gonna find you. You have my word.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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I've just ordered the personalised license plate BAA BAA.

For my black jeep.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I give out drivers licenses for snow plows

...weather permitting

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSchneebSx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I have to make dad jokes or I could lose my dad license. It's a thing called D-Law. If you're caught being a dad without a license? Well...

That's against D-Law.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/huxtiblejones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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You need a pilots license before you become a spy.

After all, you'll be in da skies.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ukuleloser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Here, a license is required for a forklift

Guess I need to switch to chopsticks.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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I was pulled over by the police. The officer said "According to your license you should be wearing glasses when you drive"

I said no, it's okay I have Contacts
He said "I don't give a damn who you think you know"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyOfAus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...

His stage name "Diss-Bard"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king...

He was Diss-Bard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Why did the boy fail his license test even though he took driver's ed?

It was a crash course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitaefinem
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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If i intend to buy an electric car, do i need a current driving license?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VladdyThePapi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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I have a license

But I don't avocado

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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I lost my baker's license

because I was recently charged with batter-y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShokuTheGod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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This license plate is expired
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gavinwride
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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This expired license plate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gavinwride
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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I finally got my license

But I don't hπŸ₯‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hakonbskard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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What kind of driver doesn’t need a license?

A screwdriver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SximplyAJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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The alcoholic lawyer got his license revoked by the judge.

He kept going to disbar.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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I'd like my fatherhood license please

A fake duolingo account made a post with a grammatical error. I corrected them, and here's the resulting joke

Anon- "duolingo is fluent in language, not grammar" Me- "languages require grammar... Czech mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bourgeois_Z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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I have a drivers license

But I don’t hπŸ₯‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stillchucky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?

He was arrested in a sting operation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Got my drivers license today

My dad gave me a jar of honey with wheels... he said it’s Manuka

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angusdeane
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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I got my license but I don’t think I hπŸ₯‘
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrom-hulios
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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License plate
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ellynmeh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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I saw a good pun license plate today
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ActuaJulian
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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My grandpa said he was going to get his license or die trying

He passed away waiting to get his picture taken

True story, he was known for rapid firing bad jokes. He had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Milwaukee Zoo. I think it was the best way he could have gone, pulling one last joke over on all of us. Figured you all should know some people are really committed to the r/dadjoke lifestyle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GingerBeardMan89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
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Cool license plate clock or a waste of time?
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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My son’s text: β€œWhat is my car’s license plate?”

My response: β€œA rectangular metal instrument affixed to the rear of your car, paid for by you, but issued by the State as a means of taxation, identification, and regulatory control.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DRH7660
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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I met a nun who had a bartender's license.

She was the nicest bartender I ever had. Bar nun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fruityloops49
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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I spotted a license plate reading "4SHABBY" today

me: "I guess it's not two shabby"

gf: dies laughing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RackJacked
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
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Hallo! A license plate frame for you
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apaloosafire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a drivers license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with letters "C Z W I X N O S T A C Z" Optician: "Can you read this?" "Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vongolaguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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My drivers license was suspended... i.reddituploads.com/e33d7…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/donald386
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
🚨︎ report
Why did the doctor lose his medical license?

Because he lost patience!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eckity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2012
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I got my driver's license today...

https://i.imgur.com/Qp2M6RQ.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smothdude
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What item in your bathroom has a liquor license?

The Bar of Soap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PEACE1VLAKER
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...

...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
To the person that stole my Microsoft Office license, I will find you

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 542
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarcellusDrum
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement

In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree."

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I just bought the personalized license plate BAA BAA...

For my black Jeep.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ocbrad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone stole my Microsoft Office license!

I am gonna take it back. You have my Word on it!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sonic_The_Hodlhog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
🚨︎ report

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