A thief took my Microsoft Office license key
I'll come and get you thief! You have my Word
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︎ Mar 20 2021
To the person who stole my Microsoft Office license.
I'm gonna find you. You have my word.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I've just ordered the personalised license plate BAA BAA.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
I give out drivers licenses for snow plows
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
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︎ Dec 19 2020
I have to make dad jokes or I could lose my dad license. It's a thing called D-Law. If you're caught being a dad without a license? Well...
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︎ Dec 03 2020
You need a pilots license before you become a spy.
After all, you'll be in da skies.
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Here, a license is required for a forklift
Guess I need to switch to chopsticks.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
I was pulled over by the police. The officer said "According to your license you should be wearing glasses when you drive"
I said no, it's okay I have Contacts
He said "I don't give a damn who you think you know"
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︎ Jul 17 2020
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
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︎ Sep 01 2020
A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king...
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︎ Sep 21 2020
Why did the boy fail his license test even though he took driver's ed?
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︎ Aug 01 2020
If i intend to buy an electric car, do i need a current driving license?
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︎ Oct 07 2019
I have a license
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︎ Jan 09 2020
I lost my baker's license
because I was recently charged with batter-y
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︎ Feb 20 2020
This license plate is expired
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︎ Oct 30 2019
This expired license plate
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 07 2019
I finally got my license
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︎ Aug 14 2019
What kind of driver doesnβt need a license?
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︎ Jun 21 2019
The alcoholic lawyer got his license revoked by the judge.
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︎ Feb 14 2020
I'd like my fatherhood license please
A fake duolingo account made a post with a grammatical error. I corrected them, and here's the resulting joke
Anon- "duolingo is fluent in language, not grammar"
Me- "languages require grammar... Czech mate"
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︎ Jan 16 2020
I have a drivers license
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 08 2019
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
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︎ Dec 13 2019
Got my drivers license today
My dad gave me a jar of honey with wheels... he said itβs Manuka
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︎ Nov 19 2019
I got my license but I donβt think I hπ₯
π︎ 7
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︎ Aug 08 2019
License plate
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︎ Oct 25 2018
I saw a good pun license plate today
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︎ Sep 17 2018
My grandpa said he was going to get his license or die trying
He passed away waiting to get his picture taken
True story, he was known for rapid firing bad jokes. He had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Milwaukee Zoo. I think it was the best way he could have gone, pulling one last joke over on all of us. Figured you all should know some people are really committed to the r/dadjoke lifestyle
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︎ Aug 10 2018
Cool license plate clock or a waste of time?
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︎ Jun 08 2018
My sonβs text: βWhat is my carβs license plate?β
My response: βA rectangular metal instrument affixed to the rear of your car, paid for by you, but issued by the State as a means of taxation, identification, and regulatory control.β
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︎ Jul 25 2018
I met a nun who had a bartender's license.
She was the nicest bartender I ever had. Bar nun.
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︎ Oct 26 2018
I spotted a license plate reading "4SHABBY" today
me: "I guess it's not two shabby"
gf: dies laughing
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︎ Apr 28 2017
Hallo! A license plate frame for you
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︎ Nov 07 2017
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a drivers license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test
The optician showed him a card with letters
"C Z W I X N O S T A C Z"
Optician: "Can you read this?"
"Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"
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︎ Feb 03 2018
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︎ Sep 08 2016
Why did the doctor lose his medical license?
Because he lost patience!
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︎ Jul 24 2012
I got my driver's license today...
https://i.imgur.com/Qp2M6RQ.png
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︎ Oct 29 2017
What item in your bathroom has a liquor license?
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︎ Apr 21 2017
Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...
...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!
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︎ Apr 17 2020
Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car
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︎ May 19 2019
To the person that stole my Microsoft Office license, I will find you
π︎ 542
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︎ May 02 2018
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement
In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree".
π︎ 138
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︎ May 02 2019
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
π︎ 101
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︎ Aug 08 2018
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree."
π︎ 114
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︎ Jun 01 2018
I just bought the personalized license plate BAA BAA...
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︎ Dec 03 2018
Someone stole my Microsoft Office license!
I am gonna take it back. You have my Word on it!
π︎ 13
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︎ Jun 09 2018
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
π︎ 11
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︎ Aug 25 2017
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