After Brexit, will you need a visa to travel from the UK to Europe and visa versa?
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👤︎ u/jjoojjoojj
📅︎ Dec 02 2019
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My friend needs a visa to get into the US, can anyone help?

I only have a MasterCard.

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👤︎ u/Dcapz87
📅︎ Apr 06 2018
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Dadjoke'd my girlfriend just now

On facebook messenger

Her: Wow my visa is the smallest it's been in a while!

Me: Really? Those visa cards has been same size for long while.

Her: >:(

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👤︎ u/Evan_Giants
📅︎ Mar 31 2017
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A man goes to buy some plants...

A man is going plant shopping and is getting help from an attractive cashier. He finally gets ready to buy his leafy plants when she asks how he'll be paying. He lowers his sunglasses and says "hosta la Visa, baby"

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👤︎ u/mylifemylove
📅︎ Jun 19 2016
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Rehearsal dinners... when two dads combine their awesome powers

Wedding rehearsal dinner this past Friday. Father-of-the-groom is picking up the tab and the check arrives.

Father-of-the-bride: Hope you've got a good Visa!

Father-of-the-groom: Nope. I'm in the country illegally.

All dads in attendance laugh boisterously. Groom laughs while bride wonders what the hell she's gotten herself into.

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👤︎ u/dtsjr
📅︎ Oct 06 2014
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My dad's credit card joke.

So, we were in the car, on our way to a restaurant. Dad says "Hey kids, do you want to see a miracle?" obviously, we're like, err wut, ok...

Then he pulls out his visa card and says "See this? This little piece of plastic is going to turn into food, isn't that amazing?"

Yeah....

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👤︎ u/lalionnemoddeuse
📅︎ May 19 2015
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Overheard dadjoke at the checkout

A dad's in front of me with his teenage daughter buying school supplies. Goes to tap to pay and notices a sign "VISA does not tap."

Imgur

Dad, loudly: "So, VISA does not tap, eh? VISA will salsa but it refuses to tap!"

Girl, obviously used to this: "Dad!"

Can still hear the dad as they leave, "Do you think VISA would do the merengue?"

Asked to take a photo of the sign and saw a knowing look on the teen clerk's face. I think he knew where this was going...

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👤︎ u/robotropolis
📅︎ Sep 28 2014
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I need help writing airplane puns for a message on a dating site.

So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.

Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.

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👤︎ u/richrawl
📅︎ Jan 23 2018
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