The government denied tax exemption for my church that believes Jesus spoke with a lisp

It was a real slap in the faith.

👍︎ 35
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👤︎ u/ImJesusBro
📅︎ Oct 30 2018
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Girlfriend was tired of large words

My girlfriend and I were driving for a long while and under my coercion she was reading Dune to me. After the first chapter she grew rather tired of the amount of large words mixed in with made-up sci-fi words. She demanded that she be exempt from large words for the test of the day. I replied, "So I guess defenestration is out the window."

She hit me. A lot.

👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/plax77
📅︎ Aug 14 2016
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After a nice day's hiking in Uganda..

We get to the little lodge thing, and my friend leaves his sodden boots outside to dry. The next morning, we get up to find that the local mutts have torn them to pieces.

He's pretty upset, and wondering what to do: 'Do you think my insurance will cover it?' he ponders...

'Nah mate, check your policy. You'll find there are exemptions for 'Theft, Fire, and Acts of Dog'

👍︎ 12
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👤︎ u/8979323
📅︎ Mar 18 2015
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