My job application was rejected by a juice company...

I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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My best job application yet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MalelaIsMeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Lately I have been lying on all of my job applications.

I found them all stuffed under my mattress.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fux_Aches
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Why did the job applicant kick the door on his way into the interview?

So he could try to get a foot in the door

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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A church was hiring a new bell ringer

And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.

"I'll show you",said Stan.

They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.

"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"

"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.

All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.

"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.

Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."

"But his face sure rings a bell"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_pos-tmodern_man
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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A nun was fired from he job in heaven...

A nun was fired from her job in heaven, so she came down to earth and started looking for a job. One night, when she is filling out a job application, there is a question that asks her to check the boxes next to the jobs that she has previously worked at. She looks at the answers for a second, and then checks the box marked, "Nun of the above."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeromePaulos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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A bearded man applied to a position that required him to be clean shaven.

At the job interview, the manager of the company greeted the applicant and upon noticing his facial hair, promptly asked the man how attached he was to the beard.

The man, tugging on his facial hair, replied β€œvery.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AKAPolock
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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Today I got my dad and a job promotion.

>Me: Dad, I just got a new job and the only applicants were me, myself, and I.

>Dad: So you were the best candidate.

>Me: Well no, Me and Myself declined the job, so of course I took it.

I am to young to be a dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krustic13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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Dad joked while getting a tour of a glass factory

So i know the joke is old, but the application was classic...

I was with my dad buying some glass cutting supplies and the guy in the store was really dry and seemed to take his job pretty seriously. We wrapped up our purchase and the shop worker asked if we wanted a quick tour of the production facility. We said 'yes' and walked into the back. Shop worker guy showed us some bullet proof glass, and a new self obscuring glass... then he mentions that most of what they do is provide mirrors for elevators and he turns to walk us over to the last section of the facility where they do wood grain backed mirrors. My dad stops walking and says "elevators hey"? The shop worker turns and looks at him... "I hear that industry has it's ups and downs"... Shop worker guy makes eye contact with me and turns and continues his tour. While no noise escaped his lips i could feel an internal groan that shook the walls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbyflorentine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
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I Dad-Joked a Statistic Today.

Friend: "Have you heard the study that says that when you take a female or African American's job application and replace only the name with 'Steve', that subject is 86% more likely to get the job he or she is applying for?

Me: "Well of course. No one can resist giving Steve Jobs!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acoustic_wave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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