I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me "what is your greatest weakness?". I said "I am too honest"

He said "I don't think that's a weakness"

"Well I don't give a f* what you think"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I showed up to my last job interview exhausted and stoned

I was hired

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DDD8712
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
In my job interview I was asked what some of my good qualities were...

Well my doctor always calls me patient.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReflexNL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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At a job interview I got asked to describe myself in a nutshell

I said it's so dark I can't breathe has anyone got a nut cracker I can't breathe

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks in to his job interview

The interviewer waits for the man to sit down before putting the papers in his hand flat on the table between them. "I have here the CV you submitted when you applied for this job. Unfortunately there's a 4 year gap on your CV, can you explain that please?"

The man shuffles uncomfortably in his seat and says "those are the years I went to Yale..."

The interviewer, not expecting this, was taken by surprise and said: "wow that's very impressive! You're hired!"

The man, surprised himself, replies: thanks! I really need this yob!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardybrownie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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At a job interview the interviewer asked me why i had a 4 year gap in my resume. I told him, that it’s because i went to yale. He looked impressed and told me i’m hired.

Woohoo, i got a yob! :D

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zapyre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
*Job interview* "Can you explain this gap in your rΓ©sumΓ©?"

Me: "I fell asleep on the space key."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball-_-fondler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad always told me to stand on a bottle of shampoo at job interviews...

That way I'd be 'head & shoulders' above the competition.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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My job interview for the Navy was going well, until they asked if I could swim

To be honest, I thought they’d have boats.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ask_carly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Why did the job applicant kick the door on his way into the interview?

So he could try to get a foot in the door

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I went for a job interview today, he asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience in a nutshell?"

I said, "I've never had a job working in a nutshell."

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Job Interview for Later

Job Interviewer: "At the start you'll be earning $17,000; later that will increase to $21,000"
Me: "Ok, I'll come back later."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I went for a job interview the other day.

They asked, "Can you perform under pressure?"

I said, "No, but I can perform Bohemian Rhapsody."

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walked into his job interview covered in glue

His reasoning was β€œI thought it would help me stick the interview”.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fxrc3full
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
At a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

β€œNervous?” asked the interviewer.

β€œNo. I always give 110%”.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunyyan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
At a job interview:

"What are your strengths?"

"I'm an optimist and a positive thinker."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Yes, when do I start?"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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At a job interview

At job interview at restaurant there were three aplicants a man, a women and Bob. The interviewer asked the man,

"Why do you deserve this position"

The man replied "I have worked at three 5 star restayrants and have been in this field for 8 years"

The interviewer asked the same question to the women and she replied "I have been working in this field for 15 years and have managed many famous restaurants around the world"

It was finally Bob's turn and the interviewer asked him the same question,

"Why do you deserve this position"

Bob said "You could say i bring a lot to the table"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/throwawaytrol7134
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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I broke 3 toes leaving a job interview today

But at least I got my foot in the door

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Next week I have an interview for a job cleaning mirrors,

It’s really something I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeSplodge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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What happens when you go to a job interview, high and tired?

You're hired! [ok whatever this joke isnt even funny :')]

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/otsoth3g4m3r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Job interview
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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My Dad said it was always important to make a good impression at the start of a job interview...

So whenever I went for one I always entered the room saying β€œNice to see you, to see you....”. Only once did someone respond.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A man is at a job interview and the interviewer asks him β€œSo why do you think you’d make a good waiter” and the man replied β€œWell, I think I could bring a lot to the table”
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CHEEZY_21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I always bring a ventriloquist dummy with me to job interviews

I think my resume speaks for itself

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I was asked in a job interview what I made at my last job.

I said, "Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments."

I didn't get the job Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTri810
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to a job interview and filled my cup up with water until it overflowed

My interviewer said, β€œWoah there, are you nervous” I cooly replied, β€œI’m not nervous, I just always give 110 percent.”

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skimboorder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a job interview recently and They asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said that I don't know that one, but I could take a shot at Bohemian Rhapsody.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Person in job interview : hi my name is Michael with a B and I am afraid of all insects .

Interviewer : where ? Micheal : where what ? Interviewer : where's the B ? Michael : THERE'S A BEE! (runs out of room )

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SepticSprout
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why wasn't the koala hired after his job interview?

He didn't have the right koalafications

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to an interview yesterday but didnt get the job. They said i wasnt seasoned enough ..

I needed more Thyme

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MobBank
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I went for a job interview today...

... I really want a job as a mime. But I didn't get it.

After being told the bad news, I asked the interviewer, "was it something I said?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I was at a job interview today

And was asked what my vision was for the next year. I told them it was 2020

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freefarts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
At job interviews, tell them you're willing to give 110%

Unless the job is a statistician.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A man who stole another man's prosthetic legs after a job interview was forced to return them.

Kneedless to say, he didn't get the job after that mis-step.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a job interview at the zoo yesterday

They didn't hire me. They said I was underkoalafied.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coach93
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2016
🚨︎ report
At my job interview I was asked β€˜after a long week, how do you like to recharge your batteries?’

Apparently β€˜with high voltage nipple clamps’ wasn’t the answer they were expecting

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sweaty_Bollocks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the cactus wear to the job interview?

A cactie

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AntidoteYYMBR
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Job interview

Be sure to put in your resume that you used to voice act on Sesame street, that way no mater what you are applying for you were an ex Bert.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forgotpassword69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I completely bombed my Weight Watchers job interview...

I guess watching fat people in the park isn’t considered relevant job experience.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickmidas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Told my dad I got a job interview...

Me: "Hey so I finally got a job interview as an engineer for an HVAC company."

Dad: "That's cool! Or hot!"

Spot on dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rottenapple311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend did guerrilla interviews yesterday while job hunting.

I told her not to worry because the hiring process is a lot of monkey business anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heavenwasfull
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Had a difficult job interview for a hamburger restaurant today

They really grilled me!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/F1NANCE
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Job Interview : "How do you perform under pressure"

I usually have my band with me

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Job interview

At a recent job interview I was asked "Can you perform under pressure?"

I said "Unfortunately not, but I know the words to Bohemian Rhapsody."

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daniel_jc03
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
At a job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.

I said I could, but I'd be more comfortable playing Bohemian Rhapsody.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwwazzu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
[During Job interview] "Can you explain this gap in your rΓ©sumΓ©?" Me: "I fell asleep on the space key."
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_F_SMILES
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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