Invasives Puns

A list of puns related to "Invasives"

I've almost got a good joke about British Invasion rock bands

but I'm still working out The Kinks

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👤︎ u/sprobeforebros
📅︎ Jun 30 2023
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What do you say to an invasive plant species?

Grow away

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👤︎ u/wATEVERmAn69
📅︎ Feb 11 2023
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Who ruled France after the invasion of Russia?

Napoleon Blownaparte

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👤︎ u/ArmedPenguin47
📅︎ Dec 05 2022
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The last time the United States had to fight off a foreign invasion was against the British in The War of 1812.

Just think, if the British had won, we'd all be speaking English now.

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👤︎ u/EmpireStrikes1st
📅︎ Sep 20 2022
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What's the safest part of your house during a zombie invasion?

The living room.

(From a 9-year-old!)

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👤︎ u/rossumcapek
📅︎ May 16 2022
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Inspector Lastrade: Dr. Watson, there has been a lot of home invasions recently. Any ideas what to do?

Dr. Watson: Sure. Lock homes.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 09 2022
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Vladimir Putin is called to New York to answer before the United Nations for his invasion of Ukraine

Putin gets to the customs officer and presents his passport.

Customs agent: And what's the purpose of your visit, Mr. Putin? Business or pleasure?

Putin: Business, of course.

Customs agent: Occupation?

Putin: No, not this time. Just visiting.

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👤︎ u/j00bz
📅︎ Feb 24 2022
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there is a dearth of written accounts of the viking invasions of ireland

Myself, though, I think when the Vikings murdered all the monks, they de-scribed the monasteries pretty thoroughly ;)

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👤︎ u/berninicaco3
📅︎ Jul 07 2022
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What did the Russian general say when ordered to launch another invasion?

Thanks but no tanks.

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👤︎ u/lateavatar
📅︎ May 12 2022
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What do you call an invasive species that happens to be a bird?

Illegal avian.

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👤︎ u/greedydita
📅︎ Mar 05 2022
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How does Ukraine politely decline a Russian invasion?

No tanks

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👤︎ u/red_potatum
📅︎ Feb 25 2022
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How do you get attention from a country girl?

A tractor

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👤︎ u/ActivistCap167
📅︎ Aug 26 2022
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In soviet Russia, invasion campaign topples you!

(Because Putin is likely to lose his seat for attempting to invade a sovereign nation. Will be more relevant after this happens.)

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👤︎ u/VeryOriginalName98
📅︎ Feb 28 2022
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I just read about the last person to be executed by electric chair

Apparently he offered very little resistance and conducted himself beautifully

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👤︎ u/MrSteveA
📅︎ Jun 06 2022
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What do you call a chili that's invasive?

Jalapeño business

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👤︎ u/NinjaMuffinLive
📅︎ Dec 08 2021
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What's the safest room in the house during a zombie invasion?

After I dug into the details of a theoretical zombie crisis and the entrances and exits of our home, I settled on the master bedroom.

My son sighs and says, "the living room."

High five buddy, you got me.

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👤︎ u/ex_oh
📅︎ Mar 14 2021
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My Cat Sat on my Laptop and Installed a Virus

The meoware is pretty invasive, to be honest.

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👤︎ u/Soudavanahhh
📅︎ Mar 04 2023
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Historically, the Scottish fought off a British Invasion force 20x as big as their own

The British were simply out-plaid

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👤︎ u/Routine_Palpitation
📅︎ Jun 29 2020
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What's it going to take for the U.S. to convert to the metric system?

Maybe they just need the right liter?

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👤︎ u/dryfrooot
📅︎ Oct 22 2022
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In case of home invasion, a spaniard hides in hispanic room.
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👤︎ u/floydimus
📅︎ Mar 02 2015
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Did you hear about the quadratic invasion?

Don't worry, their efforts were foiled.

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👤︎ u/changhaobyu
📅︎ Aug 25 2019
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What’s the scariest plant?

Bam-BOO

My kiddo came at me with this zinger yesterday. He won’t tell me where he heard it but it gave me a proud mom giggle

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👤︎ u/thedelightfulidiot
📅︎ May 28 2022
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Did you know "Silent Night" is not a nativity carol, but rather a news item about a successful Scandinavian invasion of the Middle East?

"Bjørn is the king of Israel"

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👤︎ u/randombrain
📅︎ Jan 31 2017
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What is your opinion on the Mongol Invasions?

I don't know, there were a lot of pros and Khans.

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👤︎ u/TilahtamalianKing
📅︎ Nov 19 2018
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Did you hear about the invasion of the U.K.

Everyone got out Scott free

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👤︎ u/MY_DOG_CALLED_ASPEN
📅︎ May 23 2019
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what's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick!

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👤︎ u/usha_pl
📅︎ Jun 30 2022
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Police confirm the invasion at crufts...

Was not a terrier attack.

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👤︎ u/SaladDodging
📅︎ Mar 11 2018
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I was talking to my dad about the African-snail invasion in Florida. I asked him how hard it was to catch these snails.

He said, "First you have to sneak up on them VERY slowly."

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👤︎ u/abeannis
📅︎ Apr 18 2018
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My girlfriend once asked me if I've ever seen a meteor shower....

I told her "no way! That's a total invasion of their privacy"

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👤︎ u/wet_joy
📅︎ Nov 16 2021
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