My wife doesn't share my view that insulting a specific water bird is a good idea.
I think we're going to have to agree to diss a grebe.
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?
Chest nuts roasting in open fire
Every Sunday I read the Times and complain to my kids about that orange haired narcissist dominating the paper by insulting and mocking everyone, especially those closest to him.
That Garfield needs to learn how to think about more than just himself and his next plate of lasagna.
A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king...
In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people.
I practice social diss dancing.
Why did the ram get in trouble for insulting the female sheep?
Cause he called her an ew!
Insulting bus driver.
A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
What do you call an unknown sandstorm that keeps insulting you??
When I hailed a taxi, the driver started insulting me.
"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.
To which he replied, "Hey, that's what I do best. I drive people away."
My friend claims he's great at insulting people in his head.
I think he's mentally diss-abled.
Insulting people who stutter are repeat offenders.
Dad dressed me down for insulting a fat man.
As we were driving one day, I saw a fat guy on the sidwalk and said, "Wow, what a fatass. That's awful."
My dad responded, "That's not nice, son. You never know what someone's situation might be. I know that guy, and he happens to have Dunlap Syndrome."
"Dunlap Syndrome?" I ask, feeling thoroughly shitty.
"Yeah. His belly done lapped over his belt!"
Did you hear about the insulting, North Korean rocket that was fired too early?
It was an early Diss Missile.
What do you call a Rubik's Cube that insults you?
What do you call a rope that insults you?
I'm thinking of opening a bar where everyone insults everyone else while moving to the music...
I think my idea of social diss dancing would go over well!
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I told: mom that why I am using a chair.
I told my ex-wife she should become a boat captain...
She's so good at dealing with loads of semen
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
My friend broke his leg, so I wrote, "You're stupid " on his cast.
I was adding insult to injury
Nein du verdammter Nebel!
Why do you vanish when you insult a marina?
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
someone insulted me on my monitor's refresh rate,
Why dont chickens insult each other?
They dont like getting roasted
Why did the magician insult the dock?
My friend Barry drew me. But I‘m not insulted because..
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
What did the equilateral triangle say to the isoceles triangle after getting insulted...
How does a soccer player insult someone?
What does a frog do to insult another frog?
A man got very upset when I buried him in NaCl.
He said my behaviour was insulting.
Why should you insult your coffee beans before brewing them?
To make sure they are well roasted.
As part of my superstitious nature, I only insult buildings made of lumber.
I constantly knock on wood.
I'm starting a line of wooden plates with insults carved on them.
I'm calling them Hickory Mockery Crockery.
(Originally posted in r/jokes)
My friend insulted my puns. I responded with a showcase of my arsenal. I am pundeniable.
What do you call a pig that got insulted
My sister hit me with quite the insult at her PhD ceremony.
It was a 2nd-degree burn.
What do you call someone who insults the college you went to?
I once heard a man insult the loveable Terry Crews. I waanted to beat the shit out of him, but I knew karmic justice would judge him fairly.
My friend couldn’t afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Never insult a donut.
some of them have fillings.
What’s another word for a swiss insult?
My mate broke his leg, so I wrote "You are stupid" on his cast.
I was just adding insult to injury.
It's okay to insult your coffee
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