What do you call a rap battle between two lizards? A reptile diss function
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
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Diss a Gree? I disagree
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nedegame
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18 2019
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What's the invisible man's least favorite fruit?

Pear. He always diss-a-pear

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2021
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In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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Aaah yess sire,
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2020
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What do you call a person who disses abusive words

Dis-cuss

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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My wife doesn't share my view that insulting a specific water bird is a good idea.

I think we're going to have to agree to diss a grebe.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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The marsh heron was angry that the other birds dissed him...

He was a bittern.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2019
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What do you call an ant that has been shunned by his community?

A socially dissed ant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CurlyHead1002
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
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I'm thinking of opening a bar where everyone insults everyone else while moving to the music...

I think my idea of social diss dancing would go over well!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 162
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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Dissing white rappers just for being white is a logical fallacy...

ad homineminem

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2018
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Dissappear
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MoonBear696
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2019
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese.

Who am I to diss a brie?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Paladin_of_Freedom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2019
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Disappear
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnArousedCatfish
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2018
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A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...

His stage name "Diss-Bard"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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A Renaissance era lawyer lost his law license for insulting the king...

He was Diss-Bard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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What vampire raps about his enemies?

Diss Trackula

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Swanbrother
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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Who needs to hear this?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/freethemaliens
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
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In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people.

I practice social diss dancing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2020
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Why did the magician insult the dock?

He wanted to diss a pier

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/steve_ideas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
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Who am I to disagree?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sweet___christmas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2019
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Waiting for my day to begin
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TazMan65
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2017
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Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.

I was in diss-gust.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Huggsy-The-Penguin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
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For my next trick,I will disappear.

"Fuck you,pear. You taste like shit."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2018
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I just made fun of a guy in a wheelchair

It is my diss-ability

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ayolin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2020
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What do you call a prearranged rap battle?

A diss appointment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2019
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Safest username for online rapper society is β€œconnect” ”

Cause no one wants to β€œdiss-connect”

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Totika123
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2020
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I had a newly created job as Corporate Critic...

where I could criticize and demean other employees. But the job was eliminated and I was let go when my co-workers complained about my DISS-POSITION.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2020
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A video game addict was playing a military game

He quickly achieved the rank of β€œtreem ”, rather high up in the rankings. However, it was not long lasting, as after a series of events he was demoted. His parents grew very annoyed of hearing him talking about having been a treem, his unfair demotion, and how much he hated his new position. Now, the gamer’s family often made little newspapers to share personal achievements and events with their family.

This weeks top headline read, β€œex-treem dissed appointment”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iamayurt
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2020
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I don’t see any animosity between mainstream rappers anymore

They must be diss-track-ted

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AJ-Naka-Zayn-Owens
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2019
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Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?

He was dissed by the prose at a rave.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yetanotherrob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2019
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My friend claims he's great at insulting people in his head.

I think he's mentally diss-abled.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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My friend insults me from A-Z

They have a diss-order

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2019
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Two rivaling rappers, named Jim and Tom planned to meet up for a rap battle. Jim totally destroyed his rival.

Tom's fans didn't expect this kind of diss appointment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SupposedlyTropical42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2018
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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spoghead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2018
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I talk so much shit I can’t hold a job.

I’ve got mad diss-abilities yo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2018
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I was in a rap battle and during my opponent's turn he was sat on the floor shaking.

I think it was a nervous diss position.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2018
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A friend challenged me to a rap battle

We agreed to meet the next day at the park, but he couldn't make it, i guess it was a diss appointment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlownMC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2017
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European Pun!

I have Moldova European puns and there is Norway Ukraine diss them, Andorra idiot if you try.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/painya
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2014
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Congratulations to my friend on his first child! Now, to the joke about the crippled guy who talks alot of shit.....

Well he didn't know what was wrong with him, but this dude obviously had a diss-ability.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ROWDY_RODDY_PEEEPER
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2017
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Did you hear about the insulting, North Korean rocket that was fired too early?

It was an early Diss Missile.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/onejdc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2016
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What do you call an ant that has been shunned by his community?

Socially dissed ant

Courtesy of my dad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sports_are_pain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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