A guy made a hurtful song about me and I couldn't get it out of my head.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves...
...but I don't like to point fingers...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
They're always talking about me behind my back, it's very hurtful
I finally confronted them. "You discussed me!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 16 2018
hurts me like a papercut
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
It hurts me to say this....
But, I have a sore throat.
π︎ 232
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
What is white and hurts when you get it in your eye?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
π︎ 968
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,
"You've broken your hand."
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Who were hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia?
The ones that were down under.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Love hurts.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
Whatβs a fist that doesnβt hurt
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
If you get hurt before you are 18, itβs just a minor injury.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
What do you do when balloons are hurt?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Why did Bruce Springsteen hurt his leg?
He was dancing in the dark.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
That pun hurts me deep
π︎ 591
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury
π︎ 58
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Broke a leg , it hurts so much
Had to take my friend to the hospital
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
What did the cat say when it got hurt?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Don't hurt me no more...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Broke ny finger today
On the other hand i am ok
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Where is the worst place to drive when your wrist hurts?
π︎ 62
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
It hurts.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
When in a new relationship, does your stomach hurt because of the butterflies...
Or the farts you hold in.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
Will you hurt your eyes if you look at the stars for too long?
This is a Sirius question.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
They never told me that getting older mad eeverything hurt when you get out of bed
I guess thatβs why itβs called being a groan-up
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. He took an Xray and told me I have a humerus fracture.
Personally, I didn't find it funny at all.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
Joke attempt from my daughter: what do you call an Aquarium that hurts fish?
π︎ 36
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
what happens when you get hurt doing yoga?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Where do you go when you get hurt playing peekaboo?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
How did the poster get hurt?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
I hurt myself while stacking up all my old National Geographics ...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
My vowels hurt.
I think they are consonants.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
And both hurt when they miss
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
Whatβs the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cutoff date.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
I told the dentist my teeth were hurting so he told me to go home and drink some Whiskey
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
I wrote an essay in highschool about lottery winners who ended up losing. Apparently I thought this was way funnier than it is.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
What superhero gets hurt the easiest?
π︎ 183
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
Who does the Cat in the Hat call when his back hurts?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
What does an alligator drink when hurt?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
Don't Hurt Yourself
π︎ 25
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
What did Mickey Mouse say to the Dr. when he hurt his leg?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Mom: "Help! I'm hurt! Hurry, call me an ambulance!"
Dad: You're an ambulance.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
I announced to my family, "Certain people in this house have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves..."
"...but I don't like to point fingers."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 29 2018
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I canβt believe itβs not better.
π︎ 88
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
How did The Undertaker hurt his back?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
It hurts me to say this...
But, I have a sore throat .
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
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