It hurts me to say this, but ...
Oh sorry, did my phone hurt you?
That's why my son said it has a cutting edge technology.
What's called when a battery gets hurt?
My wrist hurts every night at 8:50
My doctor says I have a case of ten-to-ninetis.
A coworker of mine spilled boiling hot coffee on my leg and had the nerve to ask where it hurts
Doc, it hurts when I poke myself on the shoulder and when I poke myself on the forehead and when I poke myself in the thigh.
Doc: Your finger is broken.
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
I used to think that only sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.
Until I fell in a printing press.
This morning my son said his ear hurt
I said "on the inside or outside?"
He walks out the front door, comes back in and says: "Both"
How did the bowler get hurt?
What do you call Batman when he's badly hurt ?
I hurt my finger playing Minecraft
It’s okay. Just a minor injury
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
I never understood why people say that a tennis ball hurts so bad.
Which alcoholic drink can give you the illusion that you're hurt?
After getting badly hurt, my friend asked me not to sugar coat it
So I used stevia instead.
A proctologist hurt his eardrums at a rock concert
In fact, he nearly rectum
Caveman 1: "I've heard that a dinosaur won't hurt me if I carry a club. Is that true?"
Caveman 2: "That depends on how fast you carry the club."
(Yes, I'm aware of the anachronisms.)
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
My 4-year-old got crumbs in his eye and started rubbing his eye. He said it didn't hurt much and I said "Oh, so it's just a little irritating?"
He said "No, it's eye-itating."
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,
"You've broken your hand."
If you get hurt before you are 18, it’s just a minor injury.
Who were hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia?
The ones that were down under.
What’s a fist that doesn’t hurt
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury
What do you do when balloons are hurt?
Why did Bruce Springsteen hurt his leg?
He was dancing in the dark.
Joke attempt from my daughter: what do you call an Aquarium that hurts fish?
Where is the worst place to drive when your wrist hurts?
Broke a leg , it hurts so much
Had to take my friend to the hospital
What did the cat say when it got hurt?
I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. He took an Xray and told me I have a humerus fracture.
Personally, I didn't find it funny at all.
Will you hurt your eyes if you look at the stars for too long?
This is a Sirius question.
How did the poster get hurt?
What superhero gets hurt the easiest?
When in a new relationship, does your stomach hurt because of the butterflies...
Or the farts you hold in.
what happens when you get hurt doing yoga?
They never told me that getting older mad eeverything hurt when you get out of bed
I guess that’s why it’s called being a groan-up
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
It hurts me to say this....
But, I have a sore throat.
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.
I can’t believe it’s not better.
I hurt my bottom after shaking it in the office
It was a twerk place injury.
How did The Undertaker hurt his back?
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