A list of puns related to "Disrespect"
I don't think anyone is shocked.
(Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/capitol-riot-taser-death)
Darude sandstorm
A sassysquatch
She said, βWhere will you find the time?β
Me: Easy. Right next to the sage.
Rudapest.
...is the delivery.
My wife and I are signing our loan docs today with the title company.
Wife: "I don't get why you sign your name so fast but write the date so slow."
Me: "I guess ever since we got married I don't date as often as I used to."
Title Lady: "Booooooo."
She later acknowledged that she hadn't heard that one in 21 years of doing her job. I've never been so proud and ashamed at the same time.
I appreciate it, I guess, but it also feels a bit disrespectful for them to talk about my wife like that?
I am known among my peers as one who makes puns for people's birthdays (eg: someones last name was Rawlinson, so I said have a BAWLINson birthday). But, this time, I am having a hard time making a pun. The name is Kolton, sometimes known as Kolt. May the puns be with you.
"And don't call me Buttdaddy! It's disrespectful!" I reply.
I mean the meal is usually great but the waitress always gets my name wrong. "You're bill sir." I always tell them my name is Oli! Even when I show them my name on my card, they just laugh at me! It's so disrespectful!
So my dad told me this joke several years ago. I later found it on the internet. So I'm just pasting it here as it is written online:
A good looking man walked into an agentβs office in Hollywood and said βI want to be a movie star.β Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, βWhatβs your name?β
The guy said, βMy name is Penis van Lesbian.β
The agent said, βSir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood you are going to have to change your name.β
βI will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever!β
The agent said, βSir, I have worked in Hollywood for yearsβ¦ you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! Iβm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.β
βSo be it! I guess we will not do business togetherβ the guy said and he left the agentβs office.
FIVE YEARS LATERβ¦.. The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed:
Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke
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