Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)
As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact I’ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.
Battery
I hate cancer
But they’re just the wurst.
A Capital One
They were just Goff their game.
Only for young goats - then it's kidnapping.
It was a fraction of a fracking infraction.
They were blasfemurs.
This joke is a little offensive but I love it.
What runs around a cow but never moves?
A fence.
Sorry if I a-fenced anyone.
[removed]
So instead I will start to use the term "minority report"
Butt willy?
What do you call a German who can’t see
A notsee
I prefer father figure
Right Guard
No offense is intended with this joke. It was a joke that a Catholic priest once said, and I found it quite funny.
A $100 bill went to heaven and was heading towards the gate when St. Peter stopped him. The bill said "What's the matter?". And St. Pete said, "You can't go in". And the bill replied, "Why not? I've done nothing wrong. I was given to charity for the poor and I've been with the richest people on Earth". Right then, a $20 bill was passing by, and St. Peter stopped him as well. "What does this mean? I've been good with everyone and I've been given to the poor more times than the $100 bill". But St. Pete had none of it. Right then, a $1 bill was passing by and it too was stopped. "I've been given to the poor more times than any of these combined! This is outrageous!". And right then, an old, dirty and rusty pennie was passing through the gates, jumping with joy. He stopped for a moment and smiled at St. Pete. And St. Pete smiled back, as the pennie leaped into heaven. All the other bills were confused and enraged. And when they asked St. Pete why that filthy little coin was let in, and not them, St. Peter responded: "He was the only one to go to mass".
I hope you have a nice day!
P.S: No offense is intended with this joke. It was a joke that a Catholic priest once said, and I found it quite funny.
You should play defense, no offense.
Because there's a Colt snap!
His friend replied, "That would be a pain in the ass."
I wasnt happy but i let it fly.
but it just won't fly here.
arTICKLE
You may think it’s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major
It was out of order.
No offense.
so I gave him tea.
It was, after all, a Capitol offense.
http://i.imgur.com/HiikZ78.jpg
Re-pug-nant.
*screams internally*
They only know dirty jokes.
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”
“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”
I snapped.
