Butt willy?
What do you call a German who canβt see
A notsee
Right Guard
I prefer father figure
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Your dad
Your dad who?
Your dad who left you
Because there's a Colt snap!
but it just won't fly here.
I wasnt happy but i let it fly.
It was out of order.
Letβs picket them.
They only know dirty jokes.
It was homophonic.
http://i.imgur.com/HiikZ78.jpg
Re-pug-nant.
*screams internally*
I snapped.
He was fΓΌhrer-ous
my coworker was in a hurry, I said why are you Russian?
he said i'm not i'm Czech!
This one was about two years ago, but it was one of my favorite memories of work due to the reaction it got. There's a little bit of a setup/backstory for this.
I landed a job at the local Sam's Club before it opened, so I, along with the other associates, was to attend a credit training event at a very nice bank in town.
There were probably 30 or 40 in the class and most of us knew each other pretty well because we had spent the past few weeks 'blitzing,' or selling Sam's Club memberships at Walmarts in the area.
Anyway, the credit guy (his name fails me) was giving a powerpoint presentation on the ins and outs of the Sam's credit accounts. At one point, he said that for pre-approved members, a piece of paper called a 'chit' will print out. There were a few chuckles and he smiled and said "yeah, I know," and carried on.
Then I raised my hand.
He called on me, and I began: "So if a church with a business membership is pre-approved, who's responsible for applying? A church accountant or one of the clergy or something?"
"Yes, whoever owns the account itself."
"Would that be considered a 'holy chit?'"
The class erupted in laughter and one associate even left the room because she was laughing so hard. I saw one of the managers in class with us had his head buried in his arms laughing to the point of tears.
Probably my finest moment.
Once while watching the original Planet of the Apes, my Dad walks in to inform me that dinner is ready. He stops, looks at the screen and says, "Hey is this Roots?"
-You shouldn't take offense
-You should take a hedge instead
