What are the two main ingredients in Viagra?

Miracle grow and fix a flat

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DANGEL_DANGEL
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the main ingredient in sloe gin?

Patience

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JawnsDoesReddit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a phobia of using the wrong amounts of ingredients when I’m cooking

So I’ve been taking measures to deal with it

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theleowest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I started taking our taco ingredients to make nachos on my plate when my kids started yelling "BUT IT'S TACO TUESDAY!"

To which I replied "This is nacho average Taco Tuesday"

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Selling flatbread ingredients online isn't working for me...

This business is a naan starter

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the active ingredient in self raising flour?

Initiative

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BorgClanZulu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I came across a list of ingredients to make plastic explosives.

I thought to myself, "Boy this looks like a real recipe for disaster!"

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Lightning McQueen's secret chili ingredient?

Carbonzo beans!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DM_to_the_stars
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
This was just fed to us, and our minds the key ingredients.
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyp_The_Tyrant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What's Homer Simpson's least favorite ingredient in pizza?

Dough!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiigLord
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to pick up an ingredient for making bread.

I said of course, it's the yeast I can do.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jawn317
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
After years of holding out on me, my friend finally told me the secret ingredient in his cooking.

It was about thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I was accused of taking soap making ingredients from the department store...

They're all lyes!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The Pentagon has a bakery where government agents learn secret recipes by mixing the ingredients themselves...

It operates on a knead to know basis.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My 17yo daughter, while reading the ingredients of a new supplement that I’m taking, noticed that vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5 and B6 were included. She quickly asked, β€œwhat about B4? Where’s it?”

I quickly responded, it’s not there because you had it already.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hrd4Yew69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend says that he regularly snorts an ingredient for soap...

I could tell he was lye-ing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a historian’s favourite cooking ingredient?

Archives

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ave416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
When they run out of ingredients at the Mt. Dew factory they have to make Dew with what they've got.
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oldschooldads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My pops always said he would go to his grave with his famous BBQ chicken recipe. On his death bead, he had me lean in to tell me the secret ingredient.

That’s when I knew it was Thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I understand how they get the main ingredients for Chicken-Egg-Foo-Young, but how do they get...

the eggs for Pork-Egg-Foo-Young?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a dolphins favourite baking ingredient?

All Porpoise Flour!

Sorry about the username... Hope I didn't spoil it... I don't really have a "porpoise" in life! Badum cha!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allpourpoiseflour
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the secret ingredient in God's favorite pizza?

Cheeses of Nazareth πŸ§€

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elvezisdead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
New York Customer tells the chef that he knows the secret ingredient

The chef promptly asks who told you? Customer says, I have my sauces.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife likes to make all her food with raw ingredients. She was obsessed with making dough though.

She kept telling me she kneeds it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanjiroku
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Sourdough is the most well-mannered deli ingredient, because it's well-bread.

But it's not the funniest: it doesn't have that rye sense of humor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2017
🚨︎ report
What is last ingredient in kicking ass?

Cacao!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sommerspjs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker require 16 oz of ingredients?

He was making a pound cake

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kolshpa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a kangaroo's favorite ingredient in beer?

The hops

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Epickiwi666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a chef's most lost ingredient?

Thyme

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Armyman194
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
This bread recipe said to combine all ingredients with a spoon, or if you prefer, use your hands.

I felt there was no knead

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isarealboy13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who was running late because he tried to bake chicken with only one ingredient?

He managed to cook it just in thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lalumpala
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
When the famous chef discovered he had none of the key ingredients for his chowder left, he really freaked out.

It was a clam-ity.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to make Indian sourdough bread but I was missing one ingredient

It was a naan starter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/werdnadrew
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
🚨︎ report
While preparing my lunch today, I used a lot of one particular ingredient, just so I could dad-joke my friend

Image of food preparation and how it went down: http://i.imgur.com/sYdDfrW.png

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danieljr1992
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
🚨︎ report
My mom was giving me a list of ingredients for a cake...

The the whole family (my mom, dad, and two sisters) are sitting in the living room and my mom asked me to pick up some ingredients from the grocery store. She starts listing them out loud, "I'll need heavy cream, eggs, milk-"

At which point I interrupt to ask what size eggs she needs (i.e. AA etc.) and she responds "It doesn't matter just make sure they're large - oh and cage free"

My dad immediately came back, "Cage-fee? What are you worried about - that the cake will get away?"

My dad immediately does his troll grin and my mother looks at him with a years practiced look of "how did you ever trick me into marrying you"

Naturally this was followed by my nine year old sisters falling apart into giggles, and eventually me too. My mother looks at us like she's thinking to herself "They must have switched all three of my babies at the hospital" before looking up at the ceiling and saying, "I guess I'll write a list..."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Firebrat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
🚨︎ report
Went to the store with my dad to pick up some ingredients for dinner...

He really wanted some cherries but the store was sold out. As soon as we got to the checkout he turned to me and said "Guess this was a fruitless venture." Groans ensued.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JacobPsy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.