Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
*howls aggressively* "IM GOIN ALL IN BABY"
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
To the guy in the wheelchair participating in the DC insurrection dressed all in camouflage.
You can hide, but you can’t run!
My wife just complained that I've been in the garden all day tending to the herbs.
Apparently I have way too much thyme on my hands.
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.
Every one reading this is on the same page.
Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.
Not to get all political in this sub, but...
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
Where did Noah put all the bee’s in his Ark?
Looks like I have all my ducks in a row
My son keeps all his boogers in a journal. He's up to 143.
I told him "One more and it'll be truly gross"
Lately I’ve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.
I’m starting my own hedge fund.
Of all the things I learned while in grade school...
I never thought trying to avoid cooties would be the most useful thing at this stage of my life.
Seven dwarves were all in bed, feeling Happy.
When Happy got out, they all felt Grumpy !!
What’s with all the talk about horny bugs in Washington D.C.?
I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
In our next Dnd campaign, the 4 heroes are all going to be singing wizards.
A regular bard-ershop quartet.
I WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS...
THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN PARIS.
I know Reddit has servers that all of our jokes are stored in, but I’ve come up with a better solution
Chad asks his friend, "What would happen if all the women in the world disappeared?"
His friend replied, "That would be a pain in the ass."
I managed to catch all the Pokemon listed under M in the Pokédex
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
Did you hear about the 80s singer who was utterly unyielding in attitude or opinion in spite of all appeals?
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
Has anyone seen the new movie that’s playing in all the theaters?
To all of you who have been disowned by fathers. In honor of pride month and on behalf of all dads of R/dadjokes I just wanna say, buffalo.
Because you can always be our bi-son, and even if you don't feel like shooting straight, we will always be trans-parent with you. You are loved.
Typing in all lowercase...
should be capital murder.
I replaced all of the incense in the Friar's room with Marijuana.
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.
It just doesn’t make any cents.
I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
For all the time they spend in a school, you'd think that fish are really smart.
But it turns out, they're all below C level.
All my jokes seem to lack in range.
I’ve got a tip for a horse in tomorrow’s big race, it’s won all its races, it’s called “dusty carpet”
BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...
My girlfriend that I loved with all my heart left me while I was in the bathroom screaming with constipation.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
What do you call it when all the hens in the henhouse quit on the same day?
My friend invests all his money in S&M paraphernalia...
Yep, he's invested in bonds.
It’s only the second day of Hanukkah, and my wife already ate all of the chocolate in the house...
A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.
I still think he was selling himself short.
What do all new Reddit Accounts have in common with the new MacBook Air?
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