Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...
But every time I bring it up, she smoothly changes the topic.
Sucks dick like a pro. Doesn't let me cum and wants me to eat her ass.
Suddenly huge bouncer from before barges in and shoves me away with an unrelenting force. Proceed eats out Sky's ass like a boss
Yells "Sky's rim belongs to the nords"
(sorry for long post but friend sent this to me and i have no idea where it goes, could use some help)
Dad: "No, I had a late lunch."
Girlfriend: "Do I need antibiotics for this cold?"
Her dad: "Antibiotics for a cold is a common misconception"
...
Her dad: "Like you would be if you gave me grandchildren"
But it would be a Dead Giveaway
It was pretty Loki
So, I've taken the hint...
I got her a magazine rack!
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says “coolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that “creative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!
iPhone Hell Heaven
Most people think Rrrr but a pirates true love be the C.
... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...
Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!
OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"
A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...
Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him the news?
He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.
Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.
Finally, he could take it no longer...
"Bethany..." he said
"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".
Me: "I'll make arrangements"
Edit: Wow, damn! You guys really liked this one! I aim to please :)
Ten-tickles. :)
"Blblblblblvllgllgl"
He was a one-hint wonder!
Riveting
Cant figure it out I do know it's a 2 word answer and it's a pun. The riddle is
Penguins blue, I love you. Penguins bare, sometimes wear. Please find what tops a penguins hair!
Hint: There only are a few of these. There are two words!
He said that the steaks were too high.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbeans...
You know what the biggest difference is between you and me? I'll give you a hint. It's a vast difference.
Until they buried your mom
...would that make them enemas of the state?
...and they sent a hooker.
...but he's a sissy.
Her name is Tinea.
Genesis 24:64 -- And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
Me: Heads up, you have a package arriving today with your name on it. You have permission to open it today 😉🎄
Him: Ok. Is the tree a hint or just a christmassy thing? I don’t need a tree🌲
Me: Just a christmassy thing. We didn’t send you a tree.
Him: Great. I wouldn’t want to accuse you of tree, son 🤓
Me: Oooof
Him: I was trying to branch out into political humor but it didn’t take root so I guess I’ll leaf it there
Me: You don’t know when to quit, do you?
Him: I wooden know about that
Dad: what's a Pirates favorite crime?
Me: uh ... ?
Dad: ARRRRson! What's a Pirates favorite type of socks?
Me: I don't know dad.
Dad: ARRRRgyle! What's a Pirates favorite branch of the military?
Me: rolling eyes it's the ARRRRmy.
Dad: acting confused No, it's the Navy. Why on earth would they like the army better?
Hopefully not a repost but I very clearly remember getting caught by this one and stuttering with no response.
Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner are already spoken for, but Thanksgiving hasn't been discussed yet. Thanksgiving is usually at my father-in-law's, but my stepmother-in-law has previously hinted that she might not want to host anymore.
Wife: "I talked to [stepmother-in-law] today, and she didn't say 'boo' about Thanksgiving."
Me: "Did she say 'gobble gobble'?"
It was pretty Loki.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint. I got her a magazine rack!
