PHP Puns

I can hardly walk, but when I fart the room smells lovely. Credit: https://pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php

Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........

Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php

It is a shocking discovery

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electricity

http://scienceline.ucsb.edu/getkey.php?key=4026

A quid each.

He said, "I dunno, I guess with their beaks."

I found some other good ones on this video chain of dad jokes on hoop.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=3473

He says it's only fair since Mom has a pool boy.

...Neither of these things are true. He says this all the time. Pls help.

Edit: They don't have a pool either.

That punchline tho

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3959

Comic Image

Original URL

http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3959

There is safety in numbers.

Adapted from the dadliest Dinosaur Comics.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=949920238431434&id=341163402640457

I was told that /r/dadjokes would enjoy this: http://mountsaintawesome.com/comic.php?id=99

My band had a performance yesterday. We have three saxophone players. One of plays only Alto saxophone, one of them alternates between playing Alto, Tenor and Baritone saxophone and the last plays both Tenor and Baritone saxophone.

The second two kept swapping each other's instruments or one of the other saxophones they had in the background. So at one point we had to wait for them to change while the rest of us were all ready to start playing the next song.

So, trying to make it less awkward for the audience I turn to them and I says 'I'm sorry, they're just playing ... Musical Instruments'

There was a collective groan/laugh from the audience and the drummer went ba-dum-tish And the trumpeter gave me a little wah wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm still giggling about it.

He handed me this bowl of ice-cream and it ended up being hardened "Great Stuff" insulation foam covered in chocolate.

Typical Dad prank....

Winter ice.

From the excellent Dinosaur Comics.

I maintain a small pun page on Facebook because a bunch of my family and friends would "complain" every time I'd post an image pun to my personal page.

My 17 year old step-son just sent me this one for the page. I'm so proud of him.

http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3473

This isn't my original work, but I think you of all people can best appreciate this.

http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3178

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=3487

(Image, bonus panel on original website.)