No <Body>
The man orders a Big Mac and a large fries. His wife orders a single cheeseburger. When the woman finishes her burger she glances at her husband. He has finished his burger and is moving onto the fries.
Still hungry, she looks at the fries and asks, 'Do you mind if I have a couple?'
He sighs and says, 'I suppose so,'
So she reaches over and takes a handful. The husband turns to her and asks, 'Is that a German couple?'
Confused, she responds, 'What is a German couple?'
He says, 'nein' as he slides his food out of her reach.
<GUTEN> should have been an HTML tag because it would be the guten tag. How has nobody thought of this.
https://preview.redd.it/wxa25n2a58c51.png?width=2478&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e61299d08db7234a2776473a1ad3c254e04ee80
https://www.space.com/meat-grown-in-space-station-bioprinter-first.html
The steaks have never been higher.
I think that's a little farfetch'd
Montenegro
http://www.mit.edu/~puzzle/2019/puzzle/joke_o_lantern.html
If you're completely lost, click "SOLUTION" in the upper right, but it's worth trying to solve it yourself first.
He was all over the news.
sorry, people who have known other people who have been crushed in printing presses
In Poland we celebrate Father's Day today. Together with several friendly fathers, we have created a manual for the newborn fathers. Have fun :)
LINK: newther.com
I hear the service is going to be out of this world.
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/aurora-station-luxury-space-hotel/index.html
There's no such thing as a poultry crime! (Stolen from a hero dad in country Australia http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/give-me-the-bloody-chicken-hero-dad-thwarts-chook-thief-outside-coles-20180109-h0fl5g.html )
Me: "How did it take them 13 days?"
Dad: "...maybe they went the Wong way."
I said, "Well, guess they didn't stock enough watermelon." She refuses to talk to me now...
Link: http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Smoke-Seen-for-Miles-from-Fire-near-Downtown-Dallas-422199263.html
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2016/07/19/salad-dressing-spill-on-dvp-ramp-causes-traffic-mayo-hem.html
So i was ask to post it here from a post in /r/screenshots/ , so i thought i'd add a story to it:
So, my father had asked me to make him a little sign up website, basic HTML format, that he could then copy and paste into a wordpress site that his Go-kart association uses. I made it, put it into a zip file, and e-mail him. I sent him a text to check his e-mail and how to use it. His response was this:
http://imgur.com/gallery/IG7mqVs
Here is the story. I suggested to the family that they might make a good mane course and got many groans for my trouble.
While taking the Tram Tour around the Africa enclosure at the Safari Park we passed a group of Wildebeest.
I turned to my wife and said "I don't remember this group of Wildebeest, they must be Gnu."
My 6th grade teacher had a reputation of being the meanest, strictest teacher on campus, but once I made it through his class, I realized he could be a jokester, too.
-In math class, he liked to tell a long, complicated story about a boy encountering a genie, eventually wishing for some odd things, just to end it with the punchline, "Gee, I'm a tree." (geometry)
-Another one of his long jokes consisted of a man being chased by a hearse. In a fit of desperation, he throws some Halls throat lozenges at it...."and the coffin went away."
-During study time, he would sometimes grab a balloon from his desk, blow it up, and proceed to slowly let air out of it, just to produce the squeaky noise.
-His favorite short joke: "Doctor, doctor, I broke my arm in three places!" "I advise you to stay out of those places."
-He was also probably the all-time leader of correcting, "Can I go to the bathroom?"
-He would also occasionally play opera music at the end of the day, not dismissing the class until we made it through an entire song without laughing.
-There were also a couple words that incited a specific reaction from him. Many of these words showed up often in history class, which is his favorite subject (probably because of all the jokes):
-
CARGO - "cargo beep beep".
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RAY - Whenever the word or name "ray" was mentioned, he would always respond with "You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, but ya doesn't have to call me Johnson." Needless to say, we hated the math lesson about rays.
-
HUDSON - During mentions of the Hudson River in history, he would always sing back "HUDSON 3-2-700."
-
OKLAHOMA - Whenever Oklahoma came across, he would sing the famous line from Oklahoma! the musical. (with an especially long "ohhhhhhh!")
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SURELY - "...and don't call me Shirley." (but of course, who doesn't respond with that?)
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GERONIMOOOO!!!! - pretty self explanatory.
-
Sticking with these obscure quotes and references, his two favorite days of the year are November 5th and March 15th.
Anyway, it was a fun year with that teacher. I'll add more of his quirks if I think of any.
-Also,
... keep reading on reddit ➡...because they were impatients.
I shared a story about a new supernova on facebook. Then my Dad and some others chimed in with this.
Here's the supernova story if you're interested: New Supernova in M82
http://www.octopuns.net/2013/12/98-poker.html
