I tried to show my kids the Jimmy Hoffa website, but kept getting a malformed HTML exception.

No <Body>

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👤︎ u/denzien
📅︎ Sep 15 2017
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A man and a women order a McDonalds

The man orders a Big Mac and a large fries. His wife orders a single cheeseburger. When the woman finishes her burger she glances at her husband. He has finished his burger and is moving onto the fries.

Still hungry, she looks at the fries and asks, 'Do you mind if I have a couple?'

He sighs and says, 'I suppose so,'

So she reaches over and takes a handful. The husband turns to her and asks, 'Is that a German couple?'

Confused, she responds, 'What is a German couple?'

He says, 'nein' as he slides his food out of her reach.

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👤︎ u/Joe4nna
📅︎ Sep 29 2020
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Ok hear me out

<GUTEN> should have been an HTML tag because it would be the guten tag. How has nobody thought of this.

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👤︎ u/kanupriya_
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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A little punny poem about love. We all need more love right now :)
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👤︎ u/l17charlie
📅︎ Aug 03 2020
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Puns are blooming all over this garden....Like a cat fight between a dandelion and tiger lily...

Oops...A Daisy

https://preview.redd.it/wxa25n2a58c51.png?width=2478&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e61299d08db7234a2776473a1ad3c254e04ee80

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👤︎ u/l17charlie
📅︎ Jul 21 2020
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I don't carrot all if you don't like it...
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📅︎ Sep 24 2019
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What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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📅︎ Dec 18 2019
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Alot of people were saying The Simpsons predicted Pokemon Go but me personally,

I think that's a little farfetch'd

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👤︎ u/TheSFG832
📅︎ Jul 15 2019
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The award as the most racist country in Europe goes to..

Montenegro

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👤︎ u/RainforceK
📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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Mug shot
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👤︎ u/SWEJO
📅︎ May 07 2015
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A Dad-Joke Based Puzzle in this Year's MIT Mystery Hunt

http://www.mit.edu/~puzzle/2019/puzzle/joke_o_lantern.html

If you're completely lost, click "SOLUTION" in the upper right, but it's worth trying to solve it yourself first.

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👤︎ u/dspeyer
📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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Dublin Dad Joke takes the (biscuit) cake
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👤︎ u/eoinh100
📅︎ Apr 09 2018
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Did you hear about the man who fell into the printing press?
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📅︎ Feb 25 2016
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Manual for newborn fathers

In Poland we celebrate Father's Day today. Together with several friendly fathers, we have created a manual for the newborn fathers. Have fun :)

LINK: newther.com

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👤︎ u/klonePL
📅︎ Jun 23 2018
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The first luxury hotel in space has been announced

I hear the service is going to be out of this world.

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/aurora-station-luxury-space-hotel/index.html

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📅︎ Apr 06 2018
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What did the dad say when he apprehended the man who stole a roast chicken from a supermarket?

There's no such thing as a poultry crime! (Stolen from a hero dad in country Australia http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/give-me-the-bloody-chicken-hero-dad-thwarts-chook-thief-outside-coles-20180109-h0fl5g.html )

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👤︎ u/Cloverface
📅︎ Jan 09 2018
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My dad, on the Chinese moon landing.

Me: "How did it take them 13 days?"

Dad: "...maybe they went the Wong way."

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👤︎ u/Fleurr
📅︎ Dec 14 2013
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Wife mentioned there was a produce warehouse on fire near downtown.

I said, "Well, guess they didn't stock enough watermelon." She refuses to talk to me now...

&nbsp;

Link: http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Smoke-Seen-for-Miles-from-Fire-near-Downtown-Dallas-422199263.html

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👤︎ u/BloodMC
📅︎ May 14 2017
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Slick dad joke used in title Toronto Star article reporting spill on highway

https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2016/07/19/salad-dressing-spill-on-dvp-ramp-causes-traffic-mayo-hem.html

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📅︎ Jul 20 2016
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My dad, the comedian

So i was ask to post it here from a post in /r/screenshots/ , so i thought i'd add a story to it:

So, my father had asked me to make him a little sign up website, basic HTML format, that he could then copy and paste into a wordpress site that his Go-kart association uses. I made it, put it into a zip file, and e-mail him. I sent him a text to check his e-mail and how to use it. His response was this:

http://imgur.com/gallery/IG7mqVs

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📅︎ Sep 29 2014
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Apparently Dartmoor ponies are being sold for their meat to help the herd survive.

Here is the story. I suggested to the family that they might make a good mane course and got many groans for my trouble.

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👤︎ u/Blarty97
📅︎ Dec 07 2015
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Taking a Tram Tour at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park while a Gran'dad

While taking the Tram Tour around the Africa enclosure at the Safari Park we passed a group of Wildebeest.

I turned to my wife and said "I don't remember this group of Wildebeest, they must be Gnu."

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📅︎ Dec 02 2013
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My 6th grade teacher was the king of dad jokes.

My 6th grade teacher had a reputation of being the meanest, strictest teacher on campus, but once I made it through his class, I realized he could be a jokester, too.

-In math class, he liked to tell a long, complicated story about a boy encountering a genie, eventually wishing for some odd things, just to end it with the punchline, "Gee, I'm a tree." (geometry)

-Another one of his long jokes consisted of a man being chased by a hearse. In a fit of desperation, he throws some Halls throat lozenges at it...."and the coffin went away."

-During study time, he would sometimes grab a balloon from his desk, blow it up, and proceed to slowly let air out of it, just to produce the squeaky noise.

-His favorite short joke: "Doctor, doctor, I broke my arm in three places!" "I advise you to stay out of those places."

-He was also probably the all-time leader of correcting, "Can I go to the bathroom?"

-He would also occasionally play opera music at the end of the day, not dismissing the class until we made it through an entire song without laughing.

-There were also a couple words that incited a specific reaction from him. Many of these words showed up often in history class, which is his favorite subject (probably because of all the jokes):

Anyway, it was a fun year with that teacher. I'll add more of his quirks if I think of any.

-Also,

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Oct 20 2013
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Planting some annuals today, told my son they had to be done immediately...

...because they were impatients.

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👤︎ u/ja647
📅︎ May 04 2015
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A Type Ia Explosion of Dad Jokes

I shared a story about a new supernova on facebook. Then my Dad and some others chimed in with this.

Here's the supernova story if you're interested: New Supernova in M82

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📅︎ Jan 23 2014
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