I’ve never met this guy but he posts food puns on every single food picture I post and he’s such a treasure. I always look forward to his puns now.
His pun skills are top notch
B.J really going for gold with his puns.
Hi there, I'm Buzz Aldrin, the second person to ever walk on the moon..
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
Because he wanted space
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
He gave the toy horses a home in his ___
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.
At least he won't turn over in his grave.
What do you call a magician who loses his magic?
A little boy asks his dad, "Do trees poop?"
The dad says, "Of course. Where do you think #2 pencils come from?"
What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen?
Darth Vader found his new wife near the stairs...
My son came up with this gem just now during his birthday dinner:
What kind of beans do you find in a measuring cup?
Pint-o beans!
What did the percussionist name his two daughters?
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is
He replied " I am probably a Type O"
A man attends a funeral for his best friend. He approaches the grieving widow, gestures to the podium and asks; "May I say a word?" The widow responds "Of course.."
The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.
"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."
EDIT The responses here are incredible! 👌
My friend broke his leg, so I wrote, "You're stupid " on his cast.
I was adding insult to injury
My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've just sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.
I suggested my son wear a hi-hat for hat day at school but he said no.
Apparently he's not into cymbalism.
His Outlook is not too good
Why did the student throw a 64 pack of Crayola crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test?
He wanted to pass with flying colors.
I thought of that myself.
The local bartender moved his pub to the summit of a mountain and the quality of his drinks improved
He really raised the bar on that one
My dad had a piece of skin from his shoulder grafted to his nose today. I'm just glad he'll always have a shoulder to cry on.
I also told him "now you'll be able to put your nose up at someone and give them the cold shoulder at the same time"
He thought I was "very punny"
Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
What did the Terminator say after he got his coffee?
What did Micheal Jackson call his denim store?
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car
My son dropped and broke his violin
My son dropped and broke his violin
But I fixed it with some cellotape.
What did Darth Vader say when his car broke down 3 miles outside of town?
How does an Eskimo build his house ?
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans
But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E
What does the god of thunder get when he drops his hammer?
I asked Rick Astley if I can borrow his Disney movie collection.
He told me "You can borrow any movie in my collection but I'm never gonna give you Up."
An electrician came home very late when night and his wife said
"Wire you insulate"
And he replied "Watts it to you? I'm Ohm ain't I?"
This is the first Dad joke I remember hearing, and it came from my older brother.
(We're not grading for quality here, right?)
My grandpa worked the mines his entire life
I really miss him, he was the coalest man I knew
Wow hi I've met my people on this subreddit
I swapped all of my roomates herbs with his spices
He hasnt noticed yet, but the thyme is cumin
Why did the butterfly have such a hard time with his marriage?
He didn’t get along with his moth-er-in-law.
Barack Obama went to a costume party giving his wife a piggyback. Someone asks what he is and says "I'm a snail!"
"That's M'Shell on my back!"
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
A hemp farmer noticed his cows were out in his hemp field.
He wrangled them all back into the pasture. Later he found them all back in his hemp field. It was the pot calling the cattle back.
My mate broke his leg, so I wrote "You are stupid" on his cast.
I was just adding insult to injury.
My friend Tony asked me not to say his name backwards.
My friend tony asked me not to say his name backwards
What do you call a magician who loses his magic??
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