How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?
You look for fresh prints
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you soundproof windows?
You give them the silent treatment
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Dad: βHow are your grades, son?β Son: βTheyβre underwater, Dad.β Dad: βWhat do you mean, underwater?β
Son: βTheyβre below C levelβ
π︎ 127
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?" Glancing at what he wrote, she replied, "You need two iβs."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isnβt it!?"
π︎ 410
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
How do you buy a cat, if the pet store is closed.( Made by my 5 year old niece)
You buy it from the cat-alogue
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
How do you quickly burn 900 calories?
By forgetting the pizza in the oven
π︎ 30
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
How do you write a sequel for a pun?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
How do you call a country where everyone discriminates each other?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
How many swords do you have?
π︎ 135
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
How do you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
A cow and an ox fell into a pit of despair, the cow says "How long do you think we'll be down here?" The Ox says "Once you moove over"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
How do you feel when you get sick after eating Mediterranean food?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
how do you host a party in outer space?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
π︎ 220
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
Theyβre all girls, otherwise theyβd be uncles!
π︎ 134
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
How do you make holy water?
π︎ 38
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
How do you measure the heaviness of a 2.4 million Scoville chilli pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
How do you turn six into nine?
π︎ 525
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
How do you make antifreeze?
Tell her to sleep outside.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
How do you call it when Superman is unable to do something?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
How do you get down from an elephant?
You donβt, you get down from a goose
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
How do you make a water bed bouncier?
π︎ 110
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
How do you catch a unique bird?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame bird?
Tame way, unique up on it.
(This was actually my Dad's favorite Dad joke. Happy Birthday, Dad!)
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
How do you introduce yourself to a butcher?
βHi, nice to meat you!β
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
How do you tell a scientist he smells?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
How do you know someone is a racist?
"They go VROOM VROOM VROOM"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
How do you get into college?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
How do you identify a friendly biker?
By the flies between his teeth
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
How do you go a whole day without sleeping?
You just sleep at night.
My boss's kid told told him this this morning. lol
π︎ 68
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
How do you fix BeyoncΓ©'s private plane
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
How do you tell the difference between a male door and a female door?
One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.
π︎ 62
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
How do you keep a bull from charging?
Take away its credit card.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
How do you steal a sweater?
π︎ 97
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"
The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
How do you make strange bread?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
How do you call a robot that only tells you the truth?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
How do you count cows ?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
How?
Well...
Are you going to tell me?
Why are you walking away without telling me?
Forget it. I didnβt want to know anyway...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
How do you make an altar boy crispy?
Throw him into a deep friar.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
How do you make a tissue dance?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
How do you make a plant gender neutral?
You give it a transplantation
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
How do you tell the difference between a chemical fire and an electrical fire?
With a fire distinguisher.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
How do you make Lady Gaga cry?
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
How do you get pikachu on a bus?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
How do you get 'Dick' from Richard?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
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