Waiter: βHow do you like your steak, sirβ?
Sir: βLike winning an argument with my wifeβ.
Waiter βRare it is!β.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?
You look for fresh prints
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
How do you clone a plant?
π︎ 102
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
How do you turn your tongue into a superhero?
You just bite it really hard. It will become Thor.
π︎ 62
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
How do you find Lil Wayneβs treasure?
π︎ 50
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
π︎ 318
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
How do you get pikachu on a bus?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
βMom,β I asked curiously, βhow much do you weigh?β
βTread lightly,β my father warned, βbecause your mother canβt.β
π︎ 38
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
How do you make Holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
How do you beat Minecraft?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
How do you soundproof windows?
You give them the silent treatment
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
How do you call something that makes a lot of sense for people who know how to count if you dont?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
How do you have a party in space
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
How do you reject someone who wants to elope?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Dad: βHow are your grades, son?β Son: βTheyβre underwater, Dad.β Dad: βWhat do you mean, underwater?β
Son: βTheyβre below C levelβ
π︎ 126
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
How do you stop a bull from charging?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?" Glancing at what he wrote, she replied, "You need two iβs."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isnβt it!?"
π︎ 415
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
How do you call a duck that does drugs?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 23 2021
How do you turn a duck into a popstar?
Heat it in the microwave 'til it's Bill Withers
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
How do you avoid incoming attacks in videogames?
You take advantage of dodgy programming...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
How do you make a Van Gogh?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant? (SFW don't worry)
Put them in water. If one floats, it's (a) boyant.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
How do you buy a cat, if the pet store is closed.( Made by my 5 year old niece)
You buy it from the cat-alogue
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
How do you get a farmerβs daughter to like you?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
How do you get around if you don't have legs?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
How do you call a princess who leaves you on read?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
How do you make water tired?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
How do you confuse someone?
Paint yourself green and throw spoons at them
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
How do you write a sequel for a pun?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
How do you quickly burn 900 calories?
By forgetting the pizza in the oven
π︎ 40
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
How do you call a country where everyone discriminates each other?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
How do you tell the sex of an ant?
Stick it in water. If it sinks it's a girl ant. If it floats it's a buoyant.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
How many swords do you have?
π︎ 131
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
How do you kill a circus?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
How do you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
How do you milk sheep ?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
How do you turn six into nine?
π︎ 525
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
Theyβre all girls, otherwise theyβd be uncles!
π︎ 138
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
How do you make a dad joke?
You don't.
Dad jokes make you,
we are only the embodiment of the jokes
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
How do you feel when you get sick after eating Mediterranean food?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
π︎ 220
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
How do you know if thereβs an elephant under your bed,
Your nose is touching the ceiling
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
how do you host a party in outer space?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
How do you measure the heaviness of a 2.4 million Scoville chilli pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
How do you make antifreeze?
Tell her to sleep outside.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
How do you make holy water?
you boil the hell out of it
π︎ 49
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
How do you make holy water?
π︎ 39
π
︎ Feb 09 2021
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