A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you turn six into nine?
π︎ 519
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it...
π︎ 64
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
How do you kill a BLUE elephant?
Shoot it with a BLUE elephant gun.
How do you kill a PINK elephant?
.
.
.
.
Hold it's nose until it turns blue then shoot it with a BLUE elephant gun.
π︎ 84
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
π︎ 612
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
How do you fit an Elephant into a Safeway bag?
You take the βSβ out of Safe and the βFβ out of way!
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
How do you get Facebook followers?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
How do you host a space party?
π︎ 96
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You βneak up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
My friend works in IT and I asked him, βHow do you make a motherboard?β
He said, βI usually tell her about my job.β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
How do you get a panda drunk
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
How do you encourage a ghost?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
How do you pay someone that is giving you a circumcision?
Tell emβ to keep the tip.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
How do you relieve an executioner from his duties?
You do it with a firing squad.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
How do you think the unthinkable
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
How do you call a country with deceiving tree?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"
Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, upto a point."
π︎ 62
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
How do you steal a coat?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
How do you make a sausage roll
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
How do you make one disappear?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
How do you catch a one of a kind rabbit?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
"How do you make a tissue dance?
"You put a little boogie in it."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch! π
π︎ 183
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
How do you know when itβs raining cats and dogs?
When you have to step over the poodles
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Give it ten tickles (tentacles).
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
How do you tell the sex of an ant? You drop it in water. It sinks: girl ant. It floats:...
π︎ 503
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Do you know how I escaped from Δ°raq?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a duck.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
How do you find Will Smith in snow?
You look for the fresh prints
π︎ 52
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
How do you know if your love interest is into you?
Invite them to the gym. If they show up...
β¦
...then you know you're working out.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
How do you scare away bees?
You say "Boo, bees!" ππ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
How do you say hello to a gluten-free German?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
How do you cook a dramatic steak?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
How do you drown a hipster?
Put them in the mainstream.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
How do you wake Lady Gaga up?
You po-po-po-poke her face!
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
How do you make a witch itch?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
How do you split the ocean in half?
π︎ 347
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
How do you scare potatoes?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
How do you keep someone in suspense?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
How do you know wether a shoe is athletic or not?
Just run with it. It doesnβt matter.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
How do you get Mike Tyson's attention?
Tell him you're all ears.
[I just thought of this while eating dinner and I'm pretty happy with it. I chuckled, and even my partner didn't sigh her usual sigh!]
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?
π︎ 176
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?
Easy. Just look for fresh prints.
π︎ 77
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
How do you make water bed more bouncy
π︎ 278
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
How do you make holy water?
You boil the Hell out of it.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
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