Heros Puns

...because it's a Side Kick.

But when I do it, I'm "out of control" and "banned from Home Depot!"

Putting damsels in distress is my specialty.

Pizza Parker

they're like heroine to me

Uncle-Hero

My great grandmother opened her eyes and said, "Joan of Arc did." And those were her last words. She died a few minutes later.

That's a true story.

would she be a x-men or transformer?

Because he killed Hitler

I should've known, there were red flags everywhere

He totally clips it.

But I tried to donate five kidneys and they just called the police.

It's called X-Men

But if you donate three kidneys, everyone's all like,

"Whose kidneys are those?"

🙄

Look it up, it’s a play on words.

It would be my souper power.

All it does is tell me to turn around and every now and then it falls apart

Not on my watch.

You could call her the Aunty-hero.

He writes all the wrongs

Stallone said, “I’m making a movie about famous composers and I’m playing Beethoven.”

Van Damme quickly chimed in, “I’ll play Mozart.”

Schwarzenegger said, “Stop is guys. I’m not saying it.”

So the other day I sat them down and said, "Look boys ..."

Betman.

Step 1: place tongue between teeth

Step 2: bite down. Hard.

Step 3: your tongue should now be Thor.

My car radio cut off the "A" in AC/DC

Me: Look, the center for disease control has a new song out.

My son: yeah, it's sick.

My Father had open heart surgery a year ago, a quadruple bypass and to celebrate 1 year of surviving I wanted to get him his favorite cake But I wanted it to say something a little hearty He loves puns and I wanted to do something special for him

Any help is appreciated!

Nana, nana, nana, nana, Batman

He was alot like Achilles. He had just one weakness. Except instead of his heel, it was his groin. You've heard of "Achilles heel" but have you heard of "Bophades' nuts" ?

Army

He was promoted to Major Savings.

Stumbling out of the crack in the wall our heroes find themselves in what appears to be an artisan's ruined workspace.

On the far wall what was once a mighty Forge has been reduced to little more than a Threege.

He said it was Impossible. It's hard to find a man of that caliber.

At the end my whole body was very Thor

The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."

The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."

The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom. His assassination plot had failed.

But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.

Thank god I’m part of the other 25%

because, if you see me, ... urine trouble!

but it’s hard to quit cold turkey.

Fe-male.

Bite it hard and it will become Thor