Where do giant monsters shop for real estate?

GodZillow!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willshade145
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
When you leave the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...

That's called A-pasta-cy

I'm proud of that one. I originally posted it to r/cleanjokes

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidkDavid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the two monsters take turns to frighten the little kid?

Because sharing is scaring

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the monster say to his son after he hadn’t seen him for years?

β€œMy how you gruesome”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheffie43
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a drug addict's favourite monster?

The Crack-en

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raiden127456
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a sea monsters favourite food

Fish and ships

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Frankenstones' Monster.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The monster took all the keys off my keyboard.

Now I'm out of control and there's no escape.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I found out the other day that the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of anxiety.

I guess he suffers from impasta syndrome

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexmanCFL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Which monster loves April Fools jokes /r/Jokes/comments/mfhnf6/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The LOOK Ness Monster
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alive-Jelly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that archeologists discovered ancient Egyptians watched monster movies?

Moth-Ra was their favorite.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the monster laugh at the ghosts joke?

Because he was full of sheet.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HogSlayin4dayz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
MY DAUGHTER KEPT COMPLAINING FOR DAYS ABOUT A MONSTER UNDER HER BED

So I drank it and told her to stop hiding cans😀

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AboutKemosabe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: β€œNo, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed.

It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phenix_Flare
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a monsters favorite kind of sweets?

Dead velvet cake.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zomboy_5097
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?

They went into ogre time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motobuddha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Please destroy me for this monster ive created
πŸ‘︎ 740
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkdragon8169
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My kids wanted me to play monster

So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?

Because they taste like sheet

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kolbayth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Dr. Frankestein had a hard time creating his monster's stomach.

It was gut-wrenching.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Griphonium
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What's cookie Monster's favorite horse?

C biscuit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakens6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a monster's favorite dessert?

I scream.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
After eating the ship, the sea monster said,

I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My son thinks I'm so cool for being able to talk like Cookie Monster and Elmo.

I guess you could say I have Sesame Street cred.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Am I a monster?
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_Jonathan0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner

Bride: How come you never help with the dinner

Frankenstein: I did

Bride: How?

Frankenstein: I did the mash...

Bride: Don't you dare

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moodsta
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"

…Frank!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Are monsters good at math

Only if you count Dracula

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LBJM18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do monsters say when they stub their toe?

Crack - a - toe - a!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SodArgon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How do monsters like their chicken cooked?

Terror fried!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mike561991
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"

The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of fermented milk product do large scary monsters eat?

Ogret

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NPVT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why were all the monsters in Monsters Inc. gay?

Because they all came out of closets.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SMontes999
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad there is a monster coming out of my closet

Dad: Don't worry son, just be supportive.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiisportscow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you get when you cross a swamp monster with a bean?

The creature from the black legume!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychodelicasies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Otyugh (Garbage Monster) barbecue parties are always bad....

Every BBQ is a dumpsterfire!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I truly am a monster. My partner is a nurse for context.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salamirelish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Wrong monster!
πŸ‘︎ 887
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manasveer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the monster-sized piece of cheese destroying the city?

It's Gorgonzilla!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
"What do sea monsters eat?"

"Fish and ships"

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zanahoriaman6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't monsters eat ghosts?

Because they taste like sheet..

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
After eating da ship, da sea monster said, Me can’t believe Me ate da hull fing.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?

Because they taste like sheet

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why monsters don't eat ghosts?

They taste like sheet.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VintageVitaminJ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Monsters don't like eating ghosts

It's because they taste like sheet

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Are there any Halloween monsters good at math?

Only if you count Dracula.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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