Where do giant monsters shop for real estate?
When you leave the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
That's called A-pasta-cy
I'm proud of that one. I originally posted it to r/cleanjokes
Why did the two monsters take turns to frighten the little kid?
Because sharing is scaring
What did the monster say to his son after he hadn’t seen him for years?
What's a drug addict's favourite monster?
What is a sea monsters favourite food
The monster took all the keys off my keyboard.
Now I'm out of control and there's no escape.
I found out the other day that the flying spaghetti monster has a lot of anxiety.
I guess he suffers from impasta syndrome
Did you know that archeologists discovered ancient Egyptians watched monster movies?
Moth-Ra was their favorite.
Why didn’t the monster laugh at the ghosts joke?
Because he was full of sheet.
MY DAUGHTER KEPT COMPLAINING FOR DAYS ABOUT A MONSTER UNDER HER BED
So I drank it and told her to stop hiding cans😤
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed.
It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.
What’s a monsters favorite kind of sweets?
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
Please destroy me for this monster ive created
My kids wanted me to play monster
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
Dr. Frankestein had a hard time creating his monster's stomach.
What's cookie Monster's favorite horse?
What is a monster's favorite dessert?
After eating the ship, the sea monster said,
I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.
My son thinks I'm so cool for being able to talk like Cookie Monster and Elmo.
I guess you could say I have Sesame Street cred.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"
Are monsters good at math
Only if you count Dracula
Probably the real monster Eminem was talking about
What do monsters say when they stub their toe?
How do monsters like their chicken cooked?
Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"
The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."
What kind of fermented milk product do large scary monsters eat?
Why were all the monsters in Monsters Inc. gay?
Because they all came out of closets.
Son: Dad there is a monster coming out of my closet
Dad: Don't worry son, just be supportive.
what do you get when you cross a swamp monster with a bean?
The creature from the black legume!
Otyugh (Garbage Monster) barbecue parties are always bad....
Every BBQ is a dumpsterfire!
I truly am a monster. My partner is a nurse for context.
Did you hear about the monster-sized piece of cheese destroying the city?
"What do sea monsters eat?"
Why don't monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet..
After eating da ship, da sea monster said, Me can’t believe Me ate da hull fing.
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?
Because they taste like sheet
Do you know why monsters don't eat ghosts?
Monsters don't like eating ghosts
It's because they taste like sheet
Are there any Halloween monsters good at math?
Only if you count Dracula.
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