I turned an English paper into one giant pun.

A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless

The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitted sleeve within their communities. This process is difficult and lending a helping hand can make the difference. On the other hand, we have those who don’t try to succeed. Their negligence is worthy of more than a mere slap on the wrist. When somebody refuses to apply themselves, they are holding back progress. By giving themselves mental limitation they are creating a prosthetic disability they must abide by. The majority of working to achieve goals is believing you can reach out and grab them. But, somebody who gives up is cutting themselves short of success Seeing somebody give up is the furthest thing from being humerus. Urging these people is a necessity, otherwise they will never try their hardest, encourage them to use some elbow grease and put forth full effort. Any small contribution is better than being a detriment, community service, obtaining greater education, enlisting in the armed forces, these all benefit society. Drastic changes of this scale are sure to cause discontent, grab a tissue if need be, but never give up. For all those that are currently wasting away without contribution, it's time to limb’er up and take charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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What do you call a fear of giants?

Feefiphobia

Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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You guys hear about the giant pickle?

It was kind of a big dill

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bumtoucherr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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How do you talk to giants?

Use big words!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podfather2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My father-in-law fell into a giant vat of sliced cabbage.

Now he's my father-in-slaw.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudecancode
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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A giant fly has attacked the local police...

Police have called SWAT team.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What's common between strippers and giants?

They both grind men's bones to make bread

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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There's a giant fly attacking the police station

Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robertmmoore143
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?

Shear size

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CascadePSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.

After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,

"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants....

Feefiphobia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set

Goddamn those big game hunters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PissYourTits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?

What’s Kraken!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Why is the giant afraid of Jack?

Because Jack's beanstalking him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krushaybhavsar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?

So he could Rest in Peas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OilPhilter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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I used to fear giants.

Now I look up to them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickno1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What to giants and strippers have in common?

They both grind men’s bones to make their bread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tsmyth15
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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My boston terrier loves chewing on a giant dog plushie.

I guess it's a dog-eat-dog world.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CringeChilly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...

...that’s a moray.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monkfish-online
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I bought a giant pack of mentos and I kept it.

I guess you could say it’s now a memento!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bill-nyeee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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a bunch of police got attacked by a giant fly

it was so big they had to call in the SWAT team

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BethanRuby1321
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I dared to ask my wife why she is ordering a giant tub of Whiteout from Amazon.

Big mistake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I once tried to kill a giant mouse with a baseball bat

Now I have a lifetime ban from Disney world

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystic_Frost69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.

Beanstalked is a serious matter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VateauxII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What do you call a giant pile of cats?

A meowntain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EveningGiraffee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Did you hear the one about the giant throwing up?

It’s all over town.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Where do you find giant snails?

At the end of a giant’s finger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheesusHChrust
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prashantuprety8
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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My wife said to my thirteen year old daughter, β€œThey covered it with a giant black condom.”

That is it. That is the joke. Welcome to Asheville, NC.

https://www.bpr.org/post/vance-monument-fully-shrouded-lee-marker-removed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aplcnlife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...

He dresses in Argh-mani suits.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Today I saw a giant, massive centipede!

it was 100 feet long

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VileTouch
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fear of giants?

Fe-Fi-Phobia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/giga-oof
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Why'd the giant octopus eat 2 ships filled with potatoes?

Cuz you can't eat just one potato ship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boofaka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Pluto always wanted to have a party for the outer gas giants…

... but he just couldn’t find time to planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Our church just replaced our giant wood pulpit for a smaller metal pulpit that is equally heavy.

We are now a heavy metal church.

We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cruckel2687
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Did you hear about the Giant that threw up?

It’s all over town.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benglescott
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my dad carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, β€œWhat are you going to do with it?”

He said, β€œLet’s cross that fridge when we get there.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a giant pile of cats?

A meowntain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyString111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...

...feefiphobia...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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I was Diagnosed with chronic fear of Giants

FeeFiphobia

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I have a fear of giants

Feefiphobia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOrderOfARA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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