I turned an English paper into one giant pun.

A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless

The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitted sleeve within their communities. This process is difficult and lending a helping hand can make the difference. On the other hand, we have those who don’t try to succeed. Their negligence is worthy of more than a mere slap on the wrist. When somebody refuses to apply themselves, they are holding back progress. By giving themselves mental limitation they are creating a prosthetic disability they must abide by. The majority of working to achieve goals is believing you can reach out and grab them. But, somebody who gives up is cutting themselves short of success Seeing somebody give up is the furthest thing from being humerus. Urging these people is a necessity, otherwise they will never try their hardest, encourage them to use some elbow grease and put forth full effort. Any small contribution is better than being a detriment, community service, obtaining greater education, enlisting in the armed forces, these all benefit society. Drastic changes of this scale are sure to cause discontent, grab a tissue if need be, but never give up. For all those that are currently wasting away without contribution, it's time to limb’er up and take charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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Did you hear about the giant who threw up

It was all over town!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alga3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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A giant hole suddenly appeared in the street next to us.

The cops are currently looking into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 21
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Uranus is a gaseous giant
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeswinjohnson6
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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It's an Archie Bunker! I built a replica of the All in the Family house INSIDE a giant basement in the Sims 4. reddit.com/gallery/mv4w82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K80Bot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
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There’s a giant fly in the house!

Call the SWAT team!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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Where do giant monsters shop for real estate?

GodZillow!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/willshade145
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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Two giant windmills are out on a hilltop. One turns to the other and asks, "what kind of music do you like? "

The other one says, "I'm a really big metal fan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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What do you call a giant racist clown?

A big IT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Turntable
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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Yeah yeah yeah, the circus fire was in tents but did you hear the one about the giant who got super drunk and threw up?

Really, you didn't about that? It was all over town.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GladCricket
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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Have you heard of the giant shoe tower?

I heard it was a big feet of engineering

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
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What do you call a fear of giants?

Feefiphobia

Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Where can you find a giant snail?

At the end of a giant's finger.

Edit: it helps if you say it out loud

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jelly_Jonut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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I was wondering if I should go to work today, and then I saw some guys putting up a giant rectangle along the highway.

It was a sign.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/POCKALEELEE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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Did you know the giant crab from Moana changed his name to Tamatoa after he got shiny?

Used to be called Matt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
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My Father will be releasing a new brand of giant breath mints later this year. He said it will be named after his children!

"Huge Disapoint Mints!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchygreymatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
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Where do you find giant snails?

On the end of giant’s fingers.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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A sailor walks into a thrift store after he lost a limb to a giant octopus

He said β€œI heard this is a second-hand shop, where they at?”

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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I fell into a giant seasoning processor

Now I'm parsley disfigured

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
A giant fly has attacked the local police...

Police have called SWAT team.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge.

It's a viscous cycle.


My family didn't like this nearly as much as the pancakes I was making, sadly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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Ever wonder what happened to the Jolly Green Giant?

He's kind of a has-bean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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Who does Thor trust to protect his back against the Frost Giants?

Asgardians

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigfootNick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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My neighbour died after falling into a giant vat of coffee, but thankfully didn’t suffer.

It was instant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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The Swedish navy have labelled all their vessels with giant barcodes,

So when they return to port they can scan de navy in.......

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WeareStarstuff7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
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What do you call a fear of giants?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowman2099
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
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I once saw a cloud of mist form before my eyes, then take the form of a giant tent peg...

It was a big mist-stake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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What’s the best way to transport a giant foot?

toe truck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
You guys hear about the giant pickle?

It was kind of a big dill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bumtoucherr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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How do you talk to giants?

Use big words!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podfather2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a giant fly attacking the police station

Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's common between strippers and giants?

They both grind men's bones to make bread

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robertmmoore143
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set

Goddamn those big game hunters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PissYourTits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.

After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,

"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?

Shear size

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CascadePSA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I used to fear giants.

Now I look up to them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickno1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?

So he could Rest in Peas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OilPhilter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the fear of giants?

Feefiephobia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallaLilllies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?

It's all over town!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants....

Feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?

What’s Kraken!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the giant throwing up?

It’s all over town.

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BockBock2000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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