A very brave helicopter pilot
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tealtaylor
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2021
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Why didn’t the helicopter like flying in the morning?

It was twirly.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BethJ2018
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...

"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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What kind of news does a helicopter read?

Uplifting ones.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oofsoof
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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I bet this helicopter wooden fly
πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JuackRamRez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2020
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You know that air that is generated by helicopter rotors when they are spinning really fast? Did you know that it’s not normal air?

It’s helicopt-air

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/melanthius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2020
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A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips.

The barman replies β€œsorry mate we only do plain”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Clubdrop14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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I walked into a shop and asked if they had any helicopter flavour chips...

They said "no sorry we only have plane".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TopDawg117
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2020
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An old man lay dying under the ceiling fan which had the bearing of a military helicopter airily surveying the aftermath of a natural disaster.

Surrounded by his son, his twin daughters and a haggard-looking nurse who looked about ready to end it all if only she could find the bloody switch, he was finally breathing his last.

His son, who loved him dearly and wasn't at all sure if he had been cut out of the will or not, burst into tears at the plight of a man who would look more at home in a red woolly outfit than he ever could in drab, white linen.

"I do not wish to die today, Anthony", he intoned fixing his gaze slightly above his son's left shoulder, "there is something you must do to save me."

"Tell me what to do dad, I can't bear to look at you this way", cried Anthony.

"There is a land, not far from here, where no one ever dies. It is not for dying you see. That is where I must go."

"Where is this place father? Tell me, and I shall take you to it."

"Take me there now", he said faintly as if in great pain, "Take me to, The Living Room."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LazyLeo1337
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2018
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What is a fleet of helicopters called?

Hellacopters

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2020
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Did you hear the one about the helicopter?

Never mind, it would go over your head.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jo-Sizzle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
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What do you get if you cross jelly with a helicopter?

A jellycopter.

A joke my daughter told me when she was about 6.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SillySimonUK
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2019
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Why did the helicopter fly into the ground?

Because the heavencopter was the one in the sky!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Emider
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2019
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Hey you know those silent stealth helicopters?

No. Haven't heard of those.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LinusGreen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2019
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I’ve heard of helicopter parents...

But I’ve yet to meet a baby helicopter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tytypec
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2018
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Never shave in a helicopter...

Unless you want Apache beard.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maester_Magus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2018
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When I wanted to buy a helicopter, my wife said I shouldn't make impulsive purchases.

I said, "You're right! I should take it out for a spin first."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2019
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What's wrong with Mickey Mouse's helicopter?

Disneyland

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Arroword-Warrior
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2018
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I love being a helicopter parent.

I get to show my daughter things she would have never seen from the ground.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2019
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What do you call a helicopter made of old fabric?

An apatche

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyberneticpencil
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2019
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Did you hear about the helicopter crew who rescued a CNN reporter?

It was on r/upliftingnews

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryanm1903
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2019
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What do underpants and helicopters have in common?

In an emergency they both have to go down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/geogdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2018
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What do you call a police helicopter?

A heli-copper!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ksaramander
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2017
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Did you hear about the helicopter that crashed into a cemetery?

They found like 200 dead bodies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/authenticstubbs
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2018
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A man walked into a bar and asked for helicopter flavoured and crisps...

Sorry sir, we only have plane!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VideoNutterhead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2017
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My friend's dad delivered a beauty the other day. What happened when a girl backed into a helicopter?

Disaster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jackymac_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2017
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A nervous soldier had jumped from a helicopter. He Radioed to his commander: "Are you sure these parachutes are safe?"

The commander chuckled, reassuring the solider. "We've had no complaints about them."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-Vinushka-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2017
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What do you get when you combine a helicopter and a rhinoceros?

Hell if I know.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/QuincyDental
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2017
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I was on a date in a helicopter and the pilot turns and says to me,

"Be careful what you do back there, you could catch a VEN-AERIAL disease!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jeremiahvedder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2018
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Why don't more guys helicopter their penis in front of their girlfriends?

Because that's a dick move

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flamingtoetaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2017
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What did the airplane say to the helicopter?

Mad props, yo!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2016
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Why is that helicopter coming at me sideways, bro.

He must have a bad attitude.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bytepsyze
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2017
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What do you get when you cross a helicopter and a rinosaurus?

Helifino

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NCKellogg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2016
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A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies

β€œsorry mate we only do plain.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
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(In Scottish Accent) What's wrong with Mickey Mouse's helicopter...

Disneyland

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/keano1205
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2018
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Did you hear about Mickey Mouse's helicopter?

Disneyland

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nodogsaloud
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2018
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Why isn't a fleet of helicopters....

just called hellacopters?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2017
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