I was on a flight the other day when the air hostess came up to me and asked, “Excuse me sir, would you like to have dinner?” I answered, “Sure! What are the options?” She smiled and responded...
My date told me we should have dinner again, but I declined
What Did The Stoner Have For Dinner
My daughter asked if we could have dinner on a picnic blanket on the lawn
I told her that option was off the table.
The band Linkin Park couldn't agree where to have dinner. They could have Chinese, Mexican..
..Indian. It doesn't even matter.
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
I invited my girlfriend over for dinner to have sausages and mash. I warned her that I'm not a very good cook though.
I wanted her to be prepared for the Wurst.
I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?
My wife and I were trying to decide on what to have for dinner...
I said, "Look, there's a big poster on that building for Subway."
My wife said, "I think that's a sign!"
(I'm not sure if she meant it as a Mom joke, but I was proud of her anyway.)
My wife recently burned the lamb shank dinner we were supposed to have last week.
This week, she tried again. It was delicious. I called it The LambShank redemption.
Gonna have a King Wencelas pizza for my Christmas dinner...
It's deep pan, crisp and even
What does Hayao Miyazaki have with his turkey dinner?
I remember the first date I had with my partner where, when we finished eating, she said that we should have dinner again.
I replied, "Thanks, but I'm full."
A girl asked me if I wanted to have dinner tonight.
I like to have dinner every night.
During family dinner, I looked at my wife and announced to everyone "Tonight guys, my wife and I will have some great, great sex."
"Thomas!" she shouted. "Not at the table!"
I said, "No, preferably somewhere a bit comfier."
Which country is always desperate to have dinner at the Olympics?
So my wife says, “honey, I’d like to have a little Italian for dinner tonight.”
I said, “Sure. But I’m not sure how the little Italian’s family will feel about that.”
While at a dinner with my five year old daughter: Coffee please, and I'll have an apple juice.
Got a smirk from the from the server.
What do you call the friends you have dinner with?
I got dad joked by my 3 year old daughter at dinner today: "Hey do you have a bun?" I asked her.
"NO I WANT A WHOLE BUN"
She's well on her way to being the dad I never had
What did the cold and angry man have for dinner?
I went out with a girl the other day, she said "We should have dinner together again"
I said "No thanks I'm already pretty full"
"Dad, do you have any food for us for dinner?"
I got ketchup in my eyes while cooking dinner last night. I should have washed them but
I was having dinner at my bosses house and his wife said, “How many potatoes would you like?” I said “I’ll just have one thanks.”
She said “It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite.”
“Alright,” I said, “I’ll just have one then, you stupid cow.”
Decided to have a curry for dinner the other night, that was a mistake...
Spent all night vindaloo.
I’m going to have a light dinner tonight
Me, to my wife: Do you want to have dinner with one of the Imperial rulers of Germany?
Her: I’m not going to Burger King again.
If my boss orders me to have dinner with another guy...
It is considered a Man Date Mandate.
My wife asked me if we should have wings for dinner?
I said, I don't know. You want to wing it?
I got home to find the rest of my family eating dinner. My son said "we'll you should have gotten home sooner", as he ate the last piece of ribeye.
I said "I guess that was my missed steak."
I asked my Sumo wrestler friend, “Would you like to have some sushi for dinner?”
He said, “No thanks. I’m not a big Japanese person.”
I told my son that I better have Indian bread for dinner.
*Daughter’s friend, over for dinner* Me: do you have any allergies? Her: no. Me: are you allergic to dad jokes? Her: yes.....
Me: that’s good, at least I’ll get a reaction.
I met a Dutch guy with inflatable shoes the other day and arranged to have dinner with him
Unfortunately he popped his clogs
Where does the chemist occasionally have dinner?
I arranged to have dinner with a cannibal, I was late.
He gave me the cold shoulder.
My wife asked me if she could just have some peace and quiet while she was making dinner
...so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarms...
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.
So i took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
My wife asked if she could have some peace & quiet while she cooked dinner
I said no problem & took the batteries out of the smoke alarms
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