What do you call Bill Clinton's VP programmatically tapping his foot and clapping his hands?

Algorithm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamhamhammyham
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Why cant a T-rex clap with his hands?

Coz they're extinct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Why couldn’t the T rex clap his hands?

He’s dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledust465
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Why can’t T-Rexes clap their hands?

Cause they’re extinct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lil-Failure
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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Why cant the dinosaur clap its hands?

Because it's dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MurtleWasHere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture... I told her I’m just looking for matches.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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U2 is having a concert in northern Ireland.

Halfway through the show, the music stops and Bono stands middle stage clapping his hands every few seconds. "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies" Without missing a beat, from somewhere in the front of the crowd a man bellows out in a thick Irish accent: "Well stop fucking doing it ya evil bastard!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/facts_my_guyy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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Fly joke

I once killed a fly by clapping on it, it’s blood is on my hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/io_42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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A mime broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested.

He still has the right to remain silent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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What did the clock do when it was hungry?

It went back 4 seconds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThanksObama92
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
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My parents both got me today.

I was just coming back from a camping trip with a whole bunch of stuff, trying to get it into the house.

My parents both walk up.

My mom: "Do you want a hand?"

Me: "Sure"

My parents look at me and both start clapping.

Me: -__-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beef_Nuggets
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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Another classic from my dad

We were driving in the car and I was talking about how I used to hate driving on busy roads but now I'm over it. And he turns to me and says ''You know, I used to have a problem with hurdles......but then I got over it!'' before clapping his hands and laughing at his joke. I hadn't heard this one in a while so it made me crack a smile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nidgefinnster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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Dadjoked my wife

my wife came home from the grocery store, and said "I gotta bring in the groceries, could you give me a hand?"

I start clapping. and say "would you also like a round of applause?" and start clapping in a circle.

she just rolled her eyes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/strider820
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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My mom is the resident dad joker.

Every time my dad and I ask her to "give us a hand" with something, she just starts clapping. She thinks it's hysterical every time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocknrollnerd3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2013
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Whenever I needed a hand.

It started when I was about five or six. I was climbing a tree that was too much for me and I slipped, clinging to a branch.

"Help!" "Do you need a hand?" "Yes!"

At which point he started clapping and laughing like he was the cleverest person who ever lived. That became his go-to joke if anyone needed a hand with anything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalebD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2013
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Getting our things home after vacation

We're on vacation, and due to work and other factors we are all heading home at different times on different flights. My mom says to my dad:

"Can we discuss how we're getting shit home?"

"Well it'll be way easier if you go to the bathroom and just leave it here"

EDIT: a few minutes later, my Mom needed help fitting something into one of our bags. She asked my dad for a hand. He clapped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plammy_sosa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2014
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Sister's fiance is going to be a welcome addition to the family

Fiance: "I'm feeling a little bit light headed." -proceeds to put head into the hands of my sister as if hands were a scale.

I clapped for about 20 seconds and then gave him a hug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAnanderson2034
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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Simon Says

I came home from work and my 3 and 4 year old kids told me they learned how to play Simon Says. I thought a test was in order.

Me: "Simon Says, clap your hands!"

Kids: [clap clap clap]

Me: "Simon Says, touch your nose!"

Kids: [touch their nose]

Me: "Simon Says, lick your finger!"

Kids: [lick their index finger]

Me: "Put your finger in your ear!"

Kids: [put their index fingers in their ears]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boyfly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2014
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Why can't T-Rex's clap their hands?

Because they're extinct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CableDolt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Why couldn’t the T-Rex clap his hands?

Because he was dead

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Why can't T-Rexes clap with their hands?

Because they're extinct...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAsianOneX1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brad-corp
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they’re dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatstrat228
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Why can't a T-Rex clap its hands?

Because its extinct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBroDingo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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Why can't T-rexes clap their hands ?

Because they're dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeRieur
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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Why can't dinosaurs clap thier hands?

Because they're dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Fabulous11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Why can't t-rex clap his hands?

Because he's dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rUcKuS858
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2017
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