Algorithm
You're high fiving yourself over someone else's accomplishment
Last night during a pretty aggressive thunderstorm, a huge lightening strike, along with an incredibly deafening thunder clap happened right next to our house. It was about 11pm and Susan was snuggled up to her Mother next to me in our bed. After a few seconds of Lori saying something soothing to our 9 year old she was holding, saying something like 'its ok, its just a little storm, we are safe...', I call out to our older 12 year old in her room just next door.
"Sarah!?" I called to her, in my normal tone to get her attention.
"Yeah? What?" She responded.
"Was that you?" I called back.
After a long pause Sarah replied "No Dad. That was thunder!"
I could not stop laughing.
They are dead.
"No, son, they're extinct."
Because Lisa Kudrow.
Mentos
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
Poor bastard.
Now I can't read anything.
Was a monster.
I was quite surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.
Originally posted by u/knowthe_numbers
All this time i thought he was a theoretical physicist.
But it's actually because they're dead
Cause they’re extinct.
If you haven't botany.
A minute passes
He’s dead
2021
A police spokesperson says it may take him up to 11 years to finish his sentence.
What does it mean when you find horseshoes? It means a horse is walking round in its socks!
I am so proud of her! Edit: wording.
Because they went extinct
I was guilty of Mans laughter.
Head lice.
But those are their words, not mine.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
The scientific experiments altered his jeans
rough sex also becomes a rave...
It was about a weak back.
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
Bump…
Bump…
Bump…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.
Faster…
Faster…
FASTER…
Bump…
Bump…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.
Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup as the casket!
And…
The coffin stops….
Coz they're extinct.
Cause they’re dead
But really, it’s because they are dead
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
Because it’s extinct.
