[request] Bill Nye the Science Guy Puns!
What a lad being a ruthless guy
Guys, I have been thinking about selling my Theremin.
I haven't touched it in years.
I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn.
Being the new guy can suck
The guy who stole my diary died yesterday.
My thoughts are with his family.
Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and no matchbox or lighter, what do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
In honor of former president Donald J. Trump
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
Did you hear about the guy who burnt down the pants factory?
They say he committed mass jeanocide.
I visited the birth place of the guy who invented the toothbrush.
What’d that cab driver say to the guy getting in his car with a cheap hooker?
Guy: "What rhymes with orange?"
Dad: the guy who stole my ipad could
Ever hear what happened to the dead guy who was put on display?
Should've becareful of your speech
The guys there were really bonding...
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the no-bell prize!
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket..
..you can hide but you can’t run.
Why did Hitler wear eye glasses?
Because without them he could Nazi.
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?
Because he didn't see that well.
I always buy my weapons from a guy called T-Rex.
To the guy in the wheelchair participating in the DC insurrection dressed all in camouflage.
You can hide, but you can’t run!
Did you guys know that Napoleon was super skinny?
That is why they call him napoleon boney parts.
I just had a guy throw milk at me
Get it. guys... ( none of my friends laughing)
To the guy who stole my antidepressants:
The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.
Turns out they had a lot of trouble putting him in his coffin. Because everytime they put his right leg in, he put his right leg out.
What do you call a happy cowboy?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Son: "Dad, did you see pictures of that guy at the Capitol stealing Nancy Pelosi's podium? That's domestic terrorism!"
Dad: "Wrong, son. He was just taking a political stand."
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
You guys hear about the new rock band that has 4 men but don’t sing?
Just gonna leaf this here
Lance is an uncommon name nowdays
But in mediaeval times people were called lance a lot
Did I tell you guys about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn’t control her pupils.
today is my first cake day so I decided to give you guys a joke
What do you call an Irishman bouncing off the walls?
Rick O Shea
2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".
That was the punchline...
You guys watch that show Rick and Morty?
Some of it's pretty mortyfying
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left half was cut off?
Did you hear about the guy who roped his camper to the bumper of his car?
His vacation went off without a hitch.
A guy came in with 144 rotten eggs.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
The guy who stole my diary just died.
My thoughts are with his family.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
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