Banker: sir, why is your land deed covered in... grease???

Dad: I steaked my claim!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arakashi_moku
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head...

He said β€œtell me more”.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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Why are Greeks not morning people? Because Dawn is tough on grease.
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mookster1338
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you put out a grease fire?

νΡρό

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arsenolite
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked the family while watching Grease last night.

The scene in the beginning where they ask Danny how the action at the beach was. I said "I guess you can say it was pretty...Sandy."

Eyerolls and groans all around, and me feeling proud of myself.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/taicrunch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2014
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Girlfriend's sister said she wanted to watch Grease. Asked her dad if they had Grease.

"No, but I have some Crisco in the cupboard."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DingoMontgomery
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2014
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I saw a 2000 year old oil stain.

It was Ancient Grease.

πŸ‘︎ 259
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the first french fries weren’t cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
French fries weren’t originally cooked in France πŸ‡«πŸ‡·

They were cooked in grease

β€œWell oil be dammed”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Did you know French Fries weren't cooked in France?

They were cooked in grease!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaSonicZone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
🚨︎ report
Belgium??
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The first French fries weren't actually made in France.

They were made in grease.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
What do you cook fries with?

Lots of de-grease.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Antihuman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Greased-back hair is not Greased back-hair
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_usher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The first French fries weren't cooked in France

They were cooked in grease

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first French fry wasn’t cooked in France?

It was cooked in Greece

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agarcia128
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Cross post, credit to Lukas2811_
πŸ‘︎ 228
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imaginepicklez
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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How do you get John Travolta out of your cheese?

Use Dawn. It takes Grease out of your whey.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheJapanPeople
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Most people think that the first French fries were cooked in France.

They were really cooked in Grease

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/limminl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I like how they light the Olympic torch near Athens, then it stays lit all the way to the opening ceremony.

I guess it's hard to put out a Greece fire.

πŸ‘︎ 650
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a refrigerated grilled cheese?

Chilled grease!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Full tank please!
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Professor_Jamie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the best time of day to wash your engine?

Dawn, it's tough on grease.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nano_Jragon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If twilight is the opposite of dawn then...

A drop of twilight and grease is there

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toady-The-Load
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
French fries aren't from France.

They come from grease.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheVirginBarry
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists have discovered an oil stain that might be more than a thousand years old.

It is Ancient Grease.

πŸ‘︎ 215
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first French fries where not made in France?

They where made in grease.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/namethadqq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
French Fries

Contrary to popular belief, the first french fries were not cooked in France! They were cooked in Grease..

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkEco4breakfast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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My girlfriend and I were talking about driving in foreign countries.

Her: "Urban Italy looks like a bad place to be with a rented car."

Me: "Yeah, I suppose there are some very old & busy cities there."

Her: "I don't know if I could do it. My Dad drove in Greece and that was bad enough."

Me: "Oof yeah, sounds sketchy. Though you'd think they'd have cleaned it up by now."

Her: ?

Me: "The grease."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robcap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL French Fries were not originally fried in France.

They were fried in grease!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Cabbage_Corp_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
The Greek army is very good at night

But Dawn is tough on Grease

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManCaveGamer2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know French fries don’t come from France?

Because they were made in grease.

(Told to me by one of my students because I like bad jokes)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spyderpig89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
In which European city was oldest donut discovered: Paris, London, Berlin, Athens or Rome?

It was found in ancient grease.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that French fries weren’t first cooked in France?

They were first cooked in Grease.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you on the Mediterranean Diet?

Because I see a lot turkey and grease.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/somedude-1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the bald man put fish oil on his head?

Because he thought it would make his herring grease.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arbaminim
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
The First 'French Fries' weren't fried in France.

They were fried in grease.

Credit: Bob &Tom in the Morning All Me Baby. No credit to anyone else.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trevo525
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report
I turned an English paper into one giant pun.

A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless

The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitted sleeve within their communities. This process is difficult and lending a helping hand can make the difference. On the other hand, we have those who don’t try to succeed. Their negligence is worthy of more than a mere slap on the wrist. When somebody refuses to apply themselves, they are holding back progress. By giving themselves mental limitation they are creating a prosthetic disability they must abide by. The majority of working to achieve goals is believing you can reach out and grab them. But, somebody who gives up is cutting themselves short of success Seeing somebody give up is the furthest thing from being humerus. Urging these people is a necessity, otherwise they will never try their hardest, encourage them to use some elbow grease and put forth full effort. Any small contribution is better than being a detriment, community service, obtaining greater education, enlisting in the armed forces, these all benefit society. Drastic changes of this scale are sure to cause discontent, grab a tissue if need be, but never give up. For all those that are currently wasting away without contribution, it's time to limb’er up and take charge.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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How is Zorba the Greek like a paper towel?

They can both 'Zorb all that Grease.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henri_Dupont
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you know that french fries aren't actually cooked in France?

They're cooked in grease!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
🚨︎ report
The first French fries were not made in France.

They were made in Grease.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
French Fries weren't cooked in France...

They were cooked in Grease.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OtisBrownTheCat
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report

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