Fatty Puns

The lard ash was everywhere!

I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."

He replied: "No fatty. Just don't eat anything."

He said "No, fatty, don't eat anything!"

It was lipid.

I looked him dead in the eyes and said look at me, I weigh 360 lbs I have a fatty everything.

But he said, "No fatty. Stop eating!"

me: you know I weight-lift in the morning?

dad: what, by getting out of bed?

I asked, "You mean like bacon, sausage and chocolate ?" He answered, "No fatty. Don't eat anything!"

Because it's fat with a pH

It's OK though as my injuries are only super fish oil.

so I said, ‘Alright, fatty.

Dear son,

Merry Christmas!

PS: do your homework.

PPS: do your chores.

PPPS: go outside and play and stop playing video games

PPPPS: you're a fatboy, fattie. You eat too much crap food.

PPPPPS: we're shipping you off to military school next year!

He is now high on my list of priorities.

Her: I love movie theater popcorn so much. It's just so good! Even people that don't like popcorn like movie theater popcorn!

Me: I guess you could say it's...popular corn.

She was not pleased.

My back has been hurting lately, an last night when my girlfriend came by, she did me the favor of rubbing my back. As she got lower, I told her about a smallish fatty lump on my lower right side. She asked if it hurt to rub or touch, and I said calmly without thinking, "nah, it hasn't hurt anyone, doesn't ever do anything but cyst there."

We sat in silence for a few seconds as we realized what just happened. I couldn't stop smiling, but the house groaned.

Mom, "Pookie, can you turn off the bacon please?" Dad walks up to the pan and says, "You're ugly and fatty and I don't want to be with you." He turns to mom, "Okay, they're not in the mood anymore."

I said “like bacon and burgers?”

He said “no fatty, don’t eat anything!”

It was lipid.

The Doctor said "don't eat anything fatty".

I said "you mean avoid burgers and bacon, that sort of thing?"

He said "no Fatty, don't eat anything".