Gravy Holder Puns

Feel free to quote me.

For the smooth brain PermaBulls saying the rich won’t let this market fail. Guess what?

Billionaires are CASH GANG right now or BUYING PUTS. The rich will most certainly be making money in a crash slow or fast. You’ve got U.S. senators buying Puts, you’ve got Burry CASH GANG & buying Lockheed Martin back in Nov. (that man knows we’re going to war) you’ve got Goldman Sachs Partners getting a one time UNUSUAL PAYMENT (reward) for their efforts in 2021 (biggest Bull trap ever) if you can’t see the rich have already exited their positions, there’s no hope for you. YOUR WENDY’S PAYCHECK CAN’T BUY THE DIP FASTER THAN THEY CAN SELL.

This crap market started Jan. 5th (probably right when the wage slave algo workers came back from their vacations and tweaked the algos). It’s clear as day the tech sell off and slow rotation to value stocks are an effort to preserve Boomers retirement funds. The media is labeling it a correction because that’s the only label they can say to not spook the boomers. The media and the markets are trying so damn hard to pump the news. Guess who has the most wealth tied up in the market? Boomers. Guess who isn’t buying the dip? Boomers. Guess whose not here on WSB in big numbers? Boomers once again. Most of the people on Reddit are millennials/Gen Z and maybe some Gen X.

There are so many boomers retiring from 2020-2022 because they don’t want to deal with Covid or the changing workforce. That’s why the labor rates is so high, their is a massive imbalance from Boomers to the rest of the generations and already their are articles shaming Gen X & millennials for not pushing out enough Gen Z children to keep this gravy train rolling.

So how will the crash happen? Boomers are going to want to lock-in their profits so they can stay retired. How much longer of a market downturn are they going to be able to stomach? Boomers listen to Boomer Media so they’ll fall for whatever the talking heads on the media are saying. Cramer saying “don’t sell it won’t feel good” (always inverse Cramer, don’t forget 08 Lehman Brother’s is a buy, then very shortly later bankruptcy) Big Media pushing out Bull centric articles saying “be unemotional, don’t look at your portfolio”. It’s all to keep them from noticing. If you’re a millennial or Gen Z go ask your parents right now if they think this is a crash. They’ll just repeat the talking points the media is telling them.

Also I bet there’s a few boomers on this sub readi

I think Shift Technologies (ticker: SFT) is an absolutely overlooked diamond in the rough, and here's why:

Shift is showing outstanding YoY growth, like absolute A+ levels of growth. Exactly what you'd want to see from a high growth company. Market cap is around 195m, Revenue is 514m. Current trailing TTM P/S is 0.38... Revenue last quarter was up 200% (3x)!! Expected 2021 full year revenue is expected to 625M for a 219% gain. From there they are expected to double to about 1.2b in 2022. They currently have more cash (247m) than their entire market cap, and they've also secured 100m in floor financing to finance more inventory, which they've needed for additional inventory capacity to sustain their growth.

Heads up: Shift is NOT yet profitable! However, I believe that is entirely expected of a company in full high growth mode. They have been re-investing heavily into themselves: more facilities, more hiring, more web/app development, and lots of advertising. But with that spending, they have been able executing on their growth plan: their revenues have tripled, they increased gross profits by 58%, lowered their customer acquisition costs by 52%, and improved their overall net margin loss. If they. Continue down this path of growth, I 100% believe that they will achieve enough economies of scale to garnish enough overall gross margin, and spread their fixed expenses out over enough units to achieve net profitablely. And then from there it's gravy and open roads.

So what IS Shift?: Shift is a used-vehicle e-commerce platform that services both buyers and sellers.

Why used cars?: With all the semiconductor interruptions, it doesn't affect used cars negatively. It also doesn't matter what the new "flavour of the week" vehicles are being released. Nearly all vehicles eventually get sold used and often multiple times. Used vehicles will ALWAYS have a place in our economy.

The question comes down to where will you buy your used vehicle? A scummy used car dealership, where you shop by going from one physical dealership to the next, dealing with scummy sales people where they are commission driven, games are played, and you haggle on everything? Or a comfortable e-commerce experience where you can sort by nearly every possible input, where you can look at a vehicle from all angles (3D exterior/interior), see all the history of the vehicle and all the specs at a glance. Get your vehicle delivered to you, with the ability to test drive it before you purchase it

One difference between my personal stocks picks compared to SafeMoon is how early I am.

Every single one of my Stocks were first listed 10+ years ago and I unfortunately missed the gravy train for most of them.

I also feel that SafeMoon is also the only investment that has allowed me to invest in the Seed Funding stage which is normally reserved for rich/well connected individuals (May holder) .

Even at this stage, SafeMoon chooses to be community owned and literally works from our own budget instead of slicing the pie to some VC'S. That takes guts.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Here is all the penis slang I could find, courtesy of the internet

1. A

2. Ace in the hole

3. Acorn Andy

4. Action Jackson

5. Adam Halfpint

6. Admiral Winky

7. African black snake

8. Afro man

9. AIDS baster

10. AIDS grenade, The

11. Alabama blacksnake

12. Albino cave dweller

13. All-day sucker

14. Anaconda

15. Anal impaler

16. Anal intruder

17. Anal Spear

18. Ankle spanker

19. Apple-headed monster

20. Ass blaster

21. Ass pirate

22. Ass wedge

23. Astralgod

24. Auger-headed gut wrench

25. B

26. Ba-donk-a-donk

27. Baby maker

28. Baby's arm holding an apple

29. Baby's arm in a boxing glove

30. Bacon bazooker

31. Bacon rod

32. Badboy

33. Bagpipe

34. Bald Avenger, The

35. Bald butler

36. Bald-headed beauty

37. Bald-headed giggle stick

38. Bald-headed hermit

39. Bald-headed Jesus

40. Bald-headed yogurt slinger

41. Baldy-headed spunk-juice dispenser

42. Ball buddy

43. Baloney pony

44. Banana

45. Bat and balls

46. Battering ram

47. Bayonet

48. Bavarian Beefstick

49. Beard splitter

50. Bearded burglar

51. Beastus maximus

52. Beaver buster

53. Beaver Cleaver

54. Bed snake

55. Beef baton

56. Beef bayonet

57. Beef belt buckle

58. Beef bugle

59. Beef bus

60. Beef missile

61. Beef soldier

62. Beef stick

63. Beefy McManstick

64. Bell rope

65. Belly stick

66. Best leg of three

67. (Big) Beanpole

68. Big Dick & the twins

69. Big Dickus

70. Big Jake the ene-eyed snake

71. Big Jim and the Twins

72. Big Johnson

73. Big Lebowski

74. Big number one

75. Big Mac

76. Big red

77. Big rod

78. Big Uncle

79. Biggus Dickus

80. Bilbo Baggins

81. Bishop, The

82. Bishop with his nice red hat

83. Bitch blaster

84. Bitch stick

85. Bits and pieces

86. Blind butler

87. Blind snake

88. Blood blunt

89. Blood slug

90. Blood sword

91. Blow pop

92. Blowtorch

93. Blue steel

94. Blue-veined jackhammer

95. Blue-veined junket pumper

96. Blue-veined piccolo

97. Blue-veined puss chucker

98. Blue-veiner

99. Blunt

100. Bob

101. Bob Dole

102. Bob Johnson

103. Bobo

104. Bone

105. Bone phone

106. Bone rollercoaster

107. Boneless beef

108. Boneless fish

109. Boner

110. Boney cannelloni

111. Bone-her

112. Bop gun

113. Bottle rocket

114. Bow-legged swamp donkey

115. Box buster

116. Boybrush

117. Bradford and the pair

118. Bratwurst

119. Breakfast burrito

120. Breakfast wood

121. Broom

122. Brutus

123. Bubba

124. Bulbulous big-knob

125. Bumtickler

126. Bush beater

127. Bush rusher

128. Bushwhacker

129. Buster Hymen

130. Buster McThunderstick

131. Butt blaster

132. Butt pirate

133. Butter churn

134. Butt

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Amy

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.